Eat, Bath, Bed

Nature or Nurture

2011-12-09T21:18:00.001-08:00

My kids make me crazy. For so many reasons - because I love them SO much, because they are so full of energy, but lately because of this ever-prevalent question I get every night and mostly every morning, "Mommy, what are we doing tomorrow?" My anxiety and irritation start to rise, I want to snap, "NOTHING, AGGHHHH!" Seriously what 3 year old and 5 year old need to know this kind of advance planning? This is just the beginning.of my issue. It's not just that these kids are under the impression that they need to have an hourly social agenda to fill up each day, when we don't "Do anything" they can't pay attention to any single activity for more than 5-7 minutes. So I have been struggling with all of this, while knowing full well I have created my own monster(s), quite literally.
I am trying to raise my kids with a passion for life. My hubby and I both love to get out and grab all the opportunities life has to offer. We take our kids out to all kinds of events and activities as a family - community events always, festivals, city attractions, recreation center activities, outdoor sports, parks, etc, etc, etc. We are a very busy active family. We are not ones to put our kids in tonnes of registered programs, preferring instead to do things together as a family for the most part. So, most days when we are not working we are doing something, we are busy. Thus the dreaded question arises. I guess it shouldn't annoy me but it does. Kids should be able to comprehend that some days will be spent at home but when I tell them that we are not planning to go anywhere the next day, they go into an anxiety attack. But who will we see, is someone coming over, I want to go somewhere...Ugh! So I take full responsibility for this situation but I am struggling to figure out how to fix it . Stay home once in awhile...or often. Which brings me to my next problem.
When we do stay home, my girls, especially my oldest (and I do beleive there is some connection there) cannot focus on one thing for more than 5-7 minutes maximum, usually more like 2-3. The oldest, I actually fear may have ADD. Again, I look to myself. Is this my fault, a result of my attempt to instill in them a lust for life? Or is this their personality? Worse yet for me to consider is it a genetic trait? I am always busy doing million things around the house - laundry, baking, cooking, crafting, cleaning, keeping the kids busy, computing...Is it my constant multi-tasking the thing that destroys their attention span. Are they emulating me but multitasking is just not something their little brains can comprehend so they end up acting like squirrels on crack. Or is it because my attention is always split from them, half doing something with them half something else? How do I teach them to just be? Probably the fact that I think I need to teach them that means I am still not getting it. I think, I shouldn't have to teach them, I just need to let them be. Just let them be. I think kids are suffering from over parenting. We think for our kids to play we need to have playdates. When I was little there was no such word. My moms friends would drop by for coffee, whenever. No one had cell phones to construct these orchestrated outings with multiple families. My aunt would drop by with my cousins, maybe we were home, most likely we would be because where else would we be. I guess I am a fan of the old fashioned family way, it seems like the right thing to me, feels right. We don't give kids time to just be and so they can't pay attention when given time to freely play. They don't know how to just be. They panic, they come running to mommy asking if they can do this organized activity, or go here, or have me orchestrate something for them. I believe they need time to just process things, play in order to make sense of all the stimulation being thrown at them all day long. Time to rest their heads and let it all soak in. It's almost like now they need someone or something to stimulate their brains all the time or they go into what I call frizzle mode where their brains are just jittering, frizzling as an after effect of all the stimulation.
At the same time, I think I need to be more focused. I just spent the last 2 days in high annoyance at my oldest, scolding her about being able to focus on the task at hand. Meanwhile my brain is in a million places, thinking o f all the Christmas preparations I need to do in the next two weeks. Well we know we are our kids biggest role models when it comes to speech and attitude etc. Obviously attention is no different. I think I need to lecture my self. PAY ATTENTION! The thing is I believe we need to pay attention, spend time with our kids doing meaningful, influential activities. And then we need to let them marinate. Let them be. Instead of getting them going on a craft then trying to cook supper, sit down and really focus on the activity with them and then send them off to play (gasp! with no play date!) while I cook. Attention, marinate. This is my new mantra. Give them QUALITY attention but it DOESN'T need to be ALL then time. Let them go about their very important kid business of all those things kids need to do. Parents, play with your kids, but also LET THEM PLAY. Often. Daily. I going to try it, we'll see how it goes. By the way, as I am typing this on my iPad I am watching TV, have a magazine open, and am checking my iPhone facebook.. But really it's them who have the attention problem. But then again maybe they are just 3 and 5.

What About Me?

2011-09-11T22:04:00.001-07:00

Sometimes motherhood astounds me. Lately I have been thinking a lot about the strange dichotomies of motherhood. For instance, we love our children, but sometimes they can make us crazy. I guess that is how love goes, only when you love someone can their actions have such an intense impact on you. But a biggy that confuses me often is this: we love to see our children grow, each new skill they master, each developmental step is so beautiful to see and leaves us in awe and wonder and yet it also leaves us...sad? The very of joy of having children to watch them grow and change is also something that causes great sadness. I don't know why? Is it because that means we are getting older and we find that sad? I don't think so because I don't really go around being sad about being older. So what is it? I guess it's about holding onto that innocence that children have and bring into our lives. Is it about them growing up and growing apart from us and fearing a loss of their unconditional love? I haven't figured it out yet but it's out there otherwise there wouldn't be all of us mom's crying in the mudroom after dropping our kids off at the first day of preschool or kindergarten.
The second big one that has me thinking is how we, as mothers are so important to the family, most important to them we might say. And in being the most important, we become the least important. When cutting up the last 10 strawberries, who will get the sweetest ones, me or my girls? No brainer. When it is supper time who cooks in a mad frenzy for an hour, hasn't eaten lunch in leiu of getting everyone to school and naps on time, then spends the next half hour feeding the baby, getting milk, getting napkins, helping someone go pee, etc etc and might actually get to taste some of that culinary effort before 8pm? who is the least important. I realized this when one day my oldest daughter asked me about something we were eating or doing "what about you mommy" and I off-handedly replied "not me, I'm the least important, I'll go last". She replied in shock "NO MOMMY!! YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT!!" Well, I guess that's why we do it all, isn't it? Because they need us, because we hold their world upon our shoulders. It is frustrating, rewarding, exhausting, and bewildering. It's just one more thing that motherhood has brought into my life that I am truly grateful to be experiencing, good and bad.

As Normal As It Gets

2011-06-06T22:09:00.000-07:00

As it turns out, blogging is a fairly accurate representation of the state of my life. Today I return to my blog, two years and a few months after my last post. My god, I think, has it really been that long. And then the significance of my last post, March 2009, hits me. It was shortly after that post that not only did my blog go offline, my whole life went kind of sideways. I was about 3 weeks after that post that my husband was admitted to ICU, rendered 100% paralyzed and unable to breath on his own due to Guillian Barre Syndrome. And thus for the next 4 gruelling months my existance became tending to him in ICU (3 months) and then rehab, as well as taking care of my 3 year old and 5 month old daughters on my own (well actually with the amazing help of our families). Two months after my husband came home from being hospitalized for 4 months, I found out I was pregnant. Go figure! So I returned to work from my maternity leave pregnant in October 2009, leaving my still recovering husband at home with our two daughters. When our third daughter was born last May, we took upon the monumental task of building a house and making an interim move for the winter. This April, we took possession of our new home and now as I type this I marvel that I have made it through the last two years, sanity relatively in tact (relatively being a key word here). Could all this really have happpened in 2 years!!
And so I return to blogging because I suppose I am feeling some sense of normalcy returning to my roller coaster life of the past 2 years. I need a venue to once again vent, to ponder, and to have some record of my experiences in this amazing journey called motherhood. I guess some of what I have been through over the past 2 years may surface in some of my posts. I wanted to start a blog just about my experiences with my husbands illness. Who knows, maybe I'll become just SO normal I will have time for that too. So here I am, back, at least for today. Hopefully it wont be another 2 years before I get to this page again.

Choco-holic

2009-03-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

So I am a chocoholic, yes I admit it. Coincidentally, my dog is also fond of the milky heavenly goodness. See my collection of photo evidence below, it's a little montage I like to call "Sippy Cup of Chocolate Milk Meets Chocolate-loving Airedale at Midnight on the Living Room Carpet".

But who couldn't love that face?

Truthfully it didn't really bother me because I am trying to pare down my sippy collection anyway, it just annoyed me that she got blood on my couch cushion. Further to my detective work in checking each dog's gums for bleeding, I also found an incriminating piece of green in the beard of the bitch. If you look closely you can see it below.

Parental Problems

2009-03-01T07:21:00.000-08:00

When you have a baby everyone tells you, it gets easier, once they are six months it's much easier. They are talking about sleep, something foreign to me lately. When your child is 12 months they say "it gets easier, once they can follow directions, once they are 20 months or so". What they don't tell you is that just because they CAN follow directions, doesn't mean they will. They say when your child is 2, "it gets easier, it's the terrible twos" and at this point I am realizing it never gets easier, the challenges just morph into something new and foreign and something that makes you feel completely helpless and incapable at every new phase of parenting. But that's the fun of it right? Right? I don't hear a resounding cheer from the audience of sleep-deprived, reasoning challenged, out-"why-ed" moms out there. So here are some of my latest parenting challenges that I am facing in my new and repeat phases of motherhood. Since the only people that read this are other moms, to my knowledge, I am looking for some good advice from those who have been here before me, are here with me, or those who just may have a magic answer.
#1 Parental Nudity
A hot topic I'm sure, this one has me a little confused, embarassed, and annoyed. While visiting my parents house at Christmas, my husband took my two and a half year old to have a shower, as he often does. Visibly apalled, my well-meaning mother says "Don't you think she is a little bit OLD to be showering with her dad?". I was floored, annoyed, angry, worried, and stunned. I had never considered this question before. She is his little girl, he has bathed her since birth, sometimes in the tub with her, sometimes not. At what point had that morphed into something suspicious, ugly, and bad? Was she right? Was this inappropriate? Was he creating future therapy-requiring damage in the psyche of our little angel? Was it MY responsibility to step in on this obscene act? OH THE ANGST! Of course I quickly shot back "NO! He showers with her all the time", ya, great response but I was at a loss for what to say. So this is my issue. Is this inappropriate. Now that the seed has been planted my mind can't help but wonder at what point is it okay and not okay to shower with your kids, be naked in front of your kids, and help your kids bath themeselves? For goodness sake she is 2! If you are still having to wipe her bum at the potty, showering together can't be forbidden already can it? Now I find myself wondering if daddy should be doing any of these things, which is of course completely ridiculous because I don't question for one second if I should be doing these things. Are there different rules for moms and dads when it comes to boys and girls? Dads with girls seems to be the most suspect of all gender combination possibilities. And that is sad. We strive for dads to be involved. Now that I have my husband thoroughly used to chipping in whatever is needed, bum wiping, bathing, dressing, etc do I now have to step in and say back off? Can't he still take her to the change room at the pool?
I have taken the stance that I am not going to hamper this fantastic gift I have of an engaged dad. If I start telling him to back off in one area, knowing men, this may cause an over-reaction of withdrawing to the point of uninvolvement. I didn't grow-up in a naked household. I don't recall ever seeing my parents or my siblings naked, EVER! That seemed normal to me at the time but our free flesh policy now also seems completely normal and comfortable. I am a shy individual when it comes to nudity. I am not comfortable baring all in change rooms, I prefer to hide in a individual stall so as not to expose anyone to my imperfect lumps (thanks to the media we can all be ashamed of our natural state no matter what our size). But I don't feel the same way in my home. My home is my haven of comfort. I don't want to have to be on gaurd with nudity. Secondly, I don't want to instill a sense of shame or embarassment to my children about their bodies. I want them to see real bodies and know that they look as imperfect as mine and my husbands. To know that mom boobs are not like the ones on TV (and mostly that is your fault my child), daddy's tummy sticks out, etc (I'll spare you the details). But now I wonder if this take is going to somehow scar my child, or worse yet if something nasty is brewing by my two year old showering with her dad? UGGGGHHHH! My take is if everyone is comfortable with it, we are okay for now, reassess as the child grows and shows signs of being uncomfortable or inappropriate. Oh there is so much to say on this topic I could go on for ever but I had a few other parental problems I wanted to discuss so I will leave this one for now. Please comment, I would really love to hear opinions on this. I've read a few at http://www.babble.com/bad-parent-nude-awakening-humor-essay-i-walk-around-the-house-naked-in-front-of-my-kids-emily-mendell/
but I'd love to hear yours too.

#2 Bedtime baby
I'll keep this one short. My baby doesn't like to go to bed. She sleeps great during the day, drifting off for a morning and afternoon nap of a few hours each without incident but every night, the fear sets in. We bath her and she goes to sleep quite nicely usually. But inevitably after about an hour she wakes up crying. I go in soothe her back to sleep. This continues every 20-45 minutes for usually 2-4 hours until about midnight when she finally conks out until her 3-4am feed. It seems like she has gas because she is twisting and clenching up her abs when she wakes up crying but who knows. I usually end up giving her Ovol, which while ineffective as a drug, it is now formulated with peppermint which I think does have a soothing effect on the stomach. We never had this problem with our first (God would never give you two kids with the same problems so you could actually feel like you know what you are doing), she only had trouble falling asleep, once she was down she was OUT! We didn't really have a defined bedtime for her at this age and she usually ended up going to bed later but since we are putting the two year old to bed at 8 it only seems natual to try and get both monkeys out at the same time to give us some sanity time. So I stress and approach the evenings with angst, while I hope to get some time to myself every evening, one must never lose hope, I usually end up doing the baby run every 20 minutes which explains why I have been trying to watch the movie "Sex in the City" since giving birth in October and am now officially half way through it. Oh woe is me. I have my mantra "I am lucky enough to have a baby, I should revel in having her in arms" I say to myself I as go to her room for the third, fourth, etc. time each night. It sometimes works, other times the mantra turns into screaming at my husband to get his butt upstairs and take a shift. Maybe I should just change my attitude and let her stay up until she crashes, but I REALLY don't want to do that. I do think she is ready for sleep at that time, she just for some reason is having trouble staying asleep. Thankfully she usually sleeps until 9 or 10 if left to her own devices. Maybe thats just her natural clock, fall asleep later, sleep later in the morning. Who knows! Anyway, advice on this "situation" would also be appreciated. (PS. I am not really into any books or "methods" on sleep, I find that this just creates more anxiety as I start to EXPECT them to conform to someone's preconceived idea of when to sleep and then get all upset and annoyed when they don't conform. Maybe I'm missing out maybe not...?).

Goals

2009-02-09T21:19:00.000-08:00

Since gaining my second child, and about 15 unwanted unshakable pounds, I have come to realize the importance of goals. Life is getting so busy that the days are just flipping by and here I am with a four month old and still feel like I have a newborn. And so I am realizing that life will continue on this way if I don't set out some real goals for myself. Yes, I have goals every day, like "take a shower" and "do two loads of laundry" that sometimes I accomplish, many days I don't, but I mean I need to set some goals for myself about things I need to pay attention to, things that will otherwise fall by the wayside. Like reading for example. I've been reading the same book since the last month of my pregnancy. I need to set a goal to finish that book. Here I am four months after having my baby and still carrying around too many extra pounds to be comfortable, I need to set a goal to lose it. I need to set a goal to spend less money, and house less stuff. To replace my need to buy things for my kids with giving them my time instead. It sounds so cliche but I am really finding that I am getting distracted with the day to day and things that I really want to do are going left undone. So on that note, tomorrow I will clean the pantry, and rid us of the bulk of the candy and calorie-laden food. That should help me on my quest to shed some pounds. Then I will spend quality time with Mayson making cookies for her and her friends to decorate for Valentines day, hmmmm I see the dichotomy here but whatever, it's a start. I am setting a goal of 30 days of activity again. Did this once before and not sure if I failed or not but it is a good goal, so am going to try again. Something active everyday, walking the dogs/kids, yoga, pilates, crunches with baby while playing, 15 minutes on the weight machine, 40 minutes on the treadmill, whatever I can get in but have to something every day for 30 days. Okay, that's enough goal setting for one day, now I have to go "get rid" of that pesky Hagen Daas in my freezer...

My Workout

2009-01-15T21:35:00.000-08:00

Starting up the blog again I am finding is a little bit like starting up excercising, the thought of doing it is much harder than actually doing it. So I am breaking down that mental wall, and technical wall too since my blog password had somehow changed?! Anyway, as anyone who may actually reads this already knows, my second beautiful daughter came into this world as planned, happy and healthy and wonderful, on October 10. Yes it's been a full three months since I posted but I think this is a valid reason, what with it being Christmas and all. And though I am often inspired with many moving thoughts in this second foray into motherhood, I am often not able to grab them in the moment and put them down here for the record and so I don't know that I have anything particularly interesting to say today. My worries are put to rest, my love for her is as great as the first, less surprising and more comfortable though. She is like someone I've known my whole life. She is sweet, and gentle, and hopefully talks less than her sister. She has her sister capacity for mega-poos, mega-pukes, and mega-smiles. She is lovely and I am so glad she is here, and glad that she turned out to be a girl (as I suspected all along) so that perhaps daddy can be convinced he needs a son?

The End is Near

2008-10-08T12:41:00.000-07:00

Here I thought with all this time before the baby comes I would be blogging away, stacking up novels beside my bed as I plowed through them night after night, and my house would be immacululate. Well, based on the blogging frequency you can guess how that execution is going. I find myself a wee bit...paralyzed. Mostly just the last two days, anxiety has swept over and I find myself a little dazed and confused, not sure what to do, how to feel, or how to spend my last ticking minutes. There are so many emotions floating around I guess it's just making me feel like a big emotional murky pond, which would explain a little crying fit after my Dr. appt yesterday, just to try and clear my head. It didn't really help and freaked my husband out a little. "Don't be one of those wacky people who gets all stressed unecessarily about things" was his take. I agree, but it's hard. It would help if he would talk about baby names or maybe it wouldn't. I worry about Mayson's reaction, he is sure she will be fantastic about the new baby. I want to take some last stage pregnancy pictures, he's in no rush (we have more 36 hours after all). He says it's routine minor surgery, but I know it is routine yes, but minor, not at all. He says everything is going to be fine, deep down I truly agree with him but I still need to listen to that little paranoid what if voice hiding inside of me. I guess that is what makes me a woman and makes him a man. The ability to hold two conflicting thoughts and emotions at the same time is something women tend to be quite adept at. Is it good for us? I don't know. Sometimes I'd like to be able to approach things like a man, with a simple single thought but most times I am grateful to have the insight of a woman. It just sometimes sucks, like now, when the emotional soup is bubbling and brewing a little out of control. Will I love this baby as much as I love Mayson? Will I enjoy having to split my attention to one more being in my life? Will I feel guilty for the emotional upset Mayson will feel? Will I be overjoyed at the blessing of yet another member of our little family? Will I be able to survive those nightly wake up calls and still have a sanity to deal with a two year old the next day? Will my baby be healthy? Will my husband rise to occasion? Will my husband resent me? Who will this baby be? Will I be just as enthralled as the first time around? Will it make me a better mom? Can I love everyone enough?

What's worse?

2008-10-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

Waking three times in the night, having trouble getting out of bed to pee due to pubic bone pain or waking three times in the night to feed a baby, having trouble getting out of bed due to C-section incision pain?

Being exhausted from end-stage (yes it is somewhat likened to a terminal disease) pregnancy or being exhausted from caring for a baby, a toddler, and recovering from surgery?

Peeing when you sneeze or vaginal bleeding for 10 weeks straight?

Being kicked in the ribs 24-7 or having having sore nipples 24-7?

Not excercising because you are physically unable or not exercising because you don't have time?

Being catheterized or a post surgery UTI?

Knowing when you will have your baby and having the clock tick down or waiting not knowing when the ticking will stop?

Oh if I knew the answer to all of these questions I may not be in this predicament. Thankfully the human (or should I say female) mind is a wonderful thing in the way it allows us to eliminate these memories in order that we may bear more children?

But let me ask myself this...
What's better, feeling the miracle that is having a little life inside your womb or feeling the miracle that is holding your new born baby for the first time? Unfortunately I can't recall the answer to this question either but thankfully I will likely be blessed to enough to experience both, again! So today is a good day, and tomorrow, whether it brings a baby or another day of pregnancy, will be a great day.

My Definitions

2008-09-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

Ironic - having a "potty cupcake celebration" at the park to celebrate 3 WHOLE DAYS of no pees or poops in the pants, feeling confident in leaving the house with one diaper and no diaper bag in hand, and having your two year old come up to you with pee soaked pants (despite wearing a pull-up at the time, how does that happen).

Pathetic - coming home from a true "Date Night" outing with hubby at the Oilers game (yes it's only pre-season but hey, we can't afford regular season prices) and upon arriving home while toddler is sleeping at Nanny's house we decide to flip on the tele whilst cooking a quick snack (hey, we can stay up and eat our kid is out of the house yipee!), we tune into Treehouse (as that was the channel on when TV was turned off of course) and it is a NEW Backyardigans episode we have never seen before. So here we are at 10:15pm, watching and engaging in intelligent conversation about the episode, who is Pablo supposed to be, are they doing a Robin Hood theme, what did Uniqua say...for at least 10 minutes before I realize what is taking place and put an immediate end to it.

Pathetic - (2) going to bed at 8pm on a Friday night, and feeling like you really accomplished something by making it to 10pm on a Saturday night.

Annoying - having a SERIOUSLY overpriced bottle of facial moisturizing lotion chewed by a neurotic bitch of an animal, not mentioning any names, the day after having the carpets cleaned.

Annoying - (2) arranging to have your husband child-rear every Saturday morning (in order to have a nice "morning off") by registering the child in gymnastics and designating it "Daddy/Daughter" time then having to jump out of bed 15 minutes before their ride arrives because Daddy doesn't set alarms on Saturdays and doesn't realize it takes more than 15 minutes to dress himself, a two year old, get a two year old to go potty (possibly a 15 minute event on its own), feed himself and a two year old, and get a two year olds shoes and coat on (at least a 7 minute event on a good day); after jumping out of bed to assist with said activities to then spend a half hour spot cleaning the carpet because daddy could not prevent dogs from running in the house with muddy feet, running upstairs (for which there is a baby gate to prevent from happening at all times as dogs are not permitted upstairs at our house) and leaving muddy footprints all over carpet (did I mention the carpets were cleaned very recently?); after cleaning carpet cleaning up a kitchen of half eaten toddler breakfast strewn about, milk sitting out on counter, cereal sitting out on counter, bibs, high chair tray, cups and utensils all strewn about differnt parts of the kitchen.

Annoying (3) - trying to go to bed early because toddler has given you its cold and then having toddler insist on being with mommy, and daddy saying "Okay, you go play in mommy's room" thinking he will sit downstairs in peace and watch football. Upon hearing from mommy that "NO!", it was Daddy's night to fill in, they both come into my room and bring toys, turn on the football game (which I was secretly planning to watch in bed anyway, but sans child and hubby) and bother mommy when really I just wanted to wallow alone in the dark.

Funny - when a toddler, after being told by her uncle, a few weeks back, that when she pooped in the toilet that she "dropped some nuggets" was appalled when I told her she was eating a chicken nugget today and then said "Noooo, mommy these are not poops". Good word association.

Impossible - that I can get any bigger, yet it happens daily.

Impossible - (2) finding shirts long enough to cover my IMPOSSIBLY large belly; how annoying to sport the fat old man bare belly bottom.

Suprising - after refusing to eat fruit other than bananas for the past year or more, my toddler asked for stawberries and oranges today, and ate both!!!

Uncomfortable - catching a cold at 36 weeks pregnant and trying to cough sans stomach muscles.

It's DONE!

2008-09-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

Today I officially finished work for my maternity leave. Unlike last pregnancy, I am not feeling so great even though the due date is still 3 weeks away. So I feel like I am wimping out a little, last time I worked until less than a week before my due date, but really, it has been SOOO much harder on me this time around. So upon being done work for the next year I feel...stressed? Hmmmm, how can that be. Well, there is always that lingering feeling of leaving things left undone, which is always the case when being absent from work for awhile. But being a year I guess it really rings home how non-essential you are. I mean if they can get by without you for a year then you realize that you are replacable. So there's that. And there is the feeling that the things you are leaving behind won't get dealt with the way you would deal with them. And then when you turn to walk out of the office there is is this vast open space you are walking into. A year without work...I feel like I am standing on a road leading into a vast open space with nothing in site but fields and road and sky. What lies ahead down that road? It's a long way to go but I have to start walking. At the same time there is that nagging dread that my year will be whisked away and before I blink I will be heading back to work wondering where the time went. So I'm going with the same approach I did with my first maternity leave...to be grateful every day I am home with my children, grateful that I have the opportunity to be with them for these precious few moments of childhood that will be gone too soon. I really did think that every day last mat-leave and I didn't feel like the year slipped by me without noticing. I know with two rugrats it will probably be a lot harder to keep that perspective but I must remind myself daily, I am home to take care of my children. I am not home to do hobbies, or shopping, or cleaning, my job now is to care for my children. Hopefully I will succeed! There is of course all the scarey thoughts of sleepless nights and screaming tantrums and breastfeeing marathons and vomit to clean up and arguements with a two year old and dogs to beat but I try not to focus on those thoughts. I LOVE being at home (usually) so I am, all in all, excited and looking forward to it.

Here is my list of things to do before the baby arrives in 3 weeks:
1. Get carpets cleaned (scheduled for Friday)
2. Clean house entirely (dusting, tidying, etc, etc)
3. Re-finish dresser for baby room (either using Mactac covering or some sort of paint if you can paint melamine - if anyone has any tips on this please provide)
4. Get haircut, eyebrows waxed - there will be no time for personal grooming in my near future.
5. Make a baby blanket for my baby, a friends baby, and a few extras to have on hand in the event of any unexpected babies arriving in the next few months.
6. Sort baby clothes and other baby items needed from storage in my basement and friends.
7. Cook some meals to have in freezer for when my mom leaves us on our own
8. Find a new futon cover (futon in baby room for me to lay/sit on for feeding)
9. Brush and clip dogs - there will be no time for dog grooming in my near future
10. Clean up garden/outdoor plants
11. Spend as much quality time with Mayson as I can - this is actually number 1 on my list.

So, in three weeks, being that I will probably be needing two naps a day and going to bed at 8pm, I think I may have to prepare myself for letting go of some of these things. On the upside this is done...

Just had to post as if you understand my lack of any artistic ability you will realize this is quite the venture and accomplishment for me, not to mention completing all the painting myself whilst the size of a small car.

She's Still Here

2008-09-15T20:03:00.000-07:00

First things first, congrats to Sleepynita on her soother exchange at the toy store. It's a good parenting day when one works up the courage to face that challenge.
Second of all, for those who may be mistaken in thinking that the Bitch has either died or been cured by some miracle hypnotist into behaving, do not kid yourselves. The truth of the matter is I have only enough energy to fight with my two year old about listening to mommy, try to keep up with laundry, and prepare the baby room and associated items lately. Thus I don't even have the energy to get angry at the Bitch when she finds the occasional forgotten sippy cup of juice and chews it up on the living room carpet, when she digs a half a blueberry pie out of the garbage while toddler naps and I am upstairs pain-stakingly painting grass on my baby's walls, when she rips into a bag of garbage on the deck, when she steals a brick of lard from the counter top in the 1.23 minutes it sat there while dear husband who was trying to be helpful left it there upon returning from the grocery store to come upstairs and help his dear with with child care duties, or when she has decided she will stop humoring us with the whole "lock me in the front room with a baby gate that I can jump with out a running start and I will pretend I don't notice the giant open window in the wall opening into the rest of the house, including the room with the food, and the kids picnic table against that window wall that would assist me in clearing the window without any effort required or the other light plastic furniture that the gate is leaning on that I can easily move to free myself from being cooped up with the brain-dead male and won't it be ironic when you come home and the dog who is able to be trusted to be free in the house is still locked up in your "pen" while I am roaming free with full access to eat all foodstuffs and garbage" thing. The funny thing is I just don't have time to get upset about it. The sippy cups go in the garbage, I pick up the garbage off the floor, clean the floor (depending), and try the same gate set up next time, hoping the bitch will forget. So, I haven't "bitched" on the blog in awhile, but beleive me, the bitch lives on.

What the waddle?

2008-09-02T20:03:00.000-07:00

I'm waddling. I am outgrowing my maternity pants, though that shouldn't theoretically be possible since they are generally elasticized. No shirts I own are long enough. I honestly feel like I am going to pee my pants at all times when standing. I can see my ass getting wider each morning while I dry my hair. I don't have the energy to do my hair on weekends, even when expecting company. I am unreasonably out of breath after climbing the 5 flights of stairs to my office (but I will do it to the bitter end if it kills me). Feet under my ribs are making sitting for more than 5 minutes exceedingly unpleasant. Wild kicking fits after getting up at 1:30 and 4:00 am to pee are keeping me awake, as if I am not tired enough on my own without being kept up for an hour or more each night. My husband keeps telling me daily how tired he is and that his back is so sore. He keeps on sending Mayson to my side of the car to get put into her carseat, I guess I am the more able bodied one to be hoisting her into the truck/car. I am sure I am officially bigger now than I was when 10 days overdue last pregnancy.

My feet aren't swollen. I don't really have heartburn.

Bye bye Gagou, Hello Sea Squirt

2008-09-01T20:43:00.000-07:00

It is night number six without Gagou (known to most other people as a soother). Yes, I waited this long to take it away from (my common defense line being "she only uses it at bedtime", which is totally the case). Yes, I knew it had to happen. No, I just didn't have the "heart" (i.e. emotional balls) to do it earlier. And yes, I know there was no point in putting it off. But I wasn't ready and so it has waited this long. It took my mom giving me a wake up call asking me what the heck I was waiting for and asking did I think it was going to get easier the longer I waited to make me realize, there is no time like the present. Besides, the big girl bed was a no sell for the last little while so I decided, why not tackle this first, that when while in Gagou withdrawl she can't jump out of bed and throw herself against the door or her room or try to make a break for it. So I convinced myself this was easier, more reasonable and logical than to tackle the big bed first (that and I rue the thought of having her come out of bed everytime the new baby wakes her in the first few weeks). Our plan, we decided (as this was a big family moment we had many a parental discussion on developing the PLAN) was to go on a big outing to the TOY STORE!! (which she had never been to before since being conscious). We then helped her (coaxed her really) into falling in love with a toy that she would "pay" for with her Gagous. We talked it up for a few days ahead to really get her on board that she didn't need Gagou anymore, that it was making her mouth yucky (which she seems to actually care about since I threatened her about teeth brushing and getting a stinky mouth like Kusa if she didn't cooperate), and how EXCITING a new toy would be. After not much interest on her part in any particular toy (other than a Yo Gaba Gaba guitar which I didn't think would comfort her too much come bedtime) we convinced her to love a dolphin (since her obsession of the week was the dolphin race episode of the Backyardigans). Then mommy picked out a white "Glo E Bear" that is a stuffed bear with colored lights inside of it so it does a cool psychadelic light show when you squeeze the hand (a good distraction from a Gagouless bedtime I thought). So we left with Seasquirt and Glo Bear in tow.

So how's it been. NOT SO BAD!!! Go forth all you sootherless-fearing moms out there, pull the plug (I hate a good pun). It was FAR, FAR less horrific that I imagined. The crying went from about 35 minutes on night one down to 10 then 8 and tonight, 2 minutes! Seriously it's like excercise, the thought of doing is much worse than actually doing it and you will be so glad you did it after the fact. Sure there were heart-wrenching moments when she would ask with pleading eyes in her sweetest littlest voice "May I want Gagou please?". And the time when she reasoned that she would return the toy we "bought" with the Gagou, Seasquirt the dolphin, back to the store to get Gagou back. There was agonizing screams of Mommy, Gagou, and when times got really desparate "Daaaaaaaadddyyyyyy" but when you turn the baby monitor off and turn on What not To Wear, it's not so bad. Take whatever tactic you need, the old toy trade, the ever popular donating it to a friend's baby, the cutting it up and saying it's broken, whatever lie you feel comfortable with to allow you to work up the courage and do it! Power to the Gagou-less.

10 Things I Learned on My Summer Vacation

2008-08-24T20:16:00.001-07:00

1. Travelling with toddlers requires alcohol.
2. Because of number 1, travelling with toddlers while pregnant is undertaken at your own risk.
3. Seaweed is scarey, starfish are scarey. Goats that eat your clothes and hair are not scarey.
4. Two year olds can learn their way around a new city in 2-3 days, men on the other hand cannot.
5. Victoria is a GREAT city to visit with kids.
6. Massage therapists in BC are not required to be registered, even at overpriced spas such as the Willow Stream Spa at the Fairmont Empress which renders your reimbursement via Health Spending Account useless in covering the massage that is you paid double the price you would have paid anywhere else.
7. Massages are wonderful, especially the overpriced ones.
8. Do not assume a hotel that cost $300+ per night has air conditioning and a shower that can maintain a consistent temperature. If pregnant and travelling to hot places, always ASK if they have air conditioning, do not assume because we live in a first world civilized country that we would have the basic amenities that one can expect in second world south east asian countries. Never assume.
9. You can pay $60 for a couple of slices of bread with veggies and a mini dessert and some tea and not feel ripped off.
10. It's hard to relax on a boat when you are the mother of a lively toddler.

Conversations with a Two-Year Old

2008-07-21T20:14:00.001-07:00

"I want money, I want money, I want money" - "Okay, you can have one money to put in your piggy bank when we get home" (handing toddler a quarter) - Toddler pauses to examine the quarter - "Mommy, you a lousy tipper?"

"Mu-mmmy (in a overly-shaming tone whilst eating dinner with the in-laws and my sis-in-laws in-laws), you tooted!" (when NO, I didn't!!!)

"Dogs, shut it up" (hollering at the top of her lungs while dogs are wrestling about the living room.

"I have stinky butt. You have stinky butt mommy?"

"Nanny, you carry me" - "No, ask papa, nanny's old" - "But papa's older"

Small Wonders

2008-07-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

It's the little things we have to remember to delight in. Me, I'm delighting in a little thing that I happen to think is a monumental moment in my gardening career...

LUPINS! Yes I know they grow like or as actual weeds in some places but I have been wanting to have them in my yard for the past 4 or 5 years and every year a plant a few and every spring I am disappointed to see them fail to revive after the winter. I know, EVERYONE ELSE can grow them. Well, I can't. Or should I say, I couldn't, until now!! I am a mighty stubborn gardener that way, when something I like dies, it makes me so annoyed that I declare war on the death of that plant I will persist at planting it until...well either until I tire of wasting inordinate amounts of $ on them (usual) or until I reign victorious. I did that with Jacob's Ladder, I lost. I am in the midst of doing it with rhododendron and weigela. Truth be known, I am still in the midst of it with lupins as the ones flowering in my garden are ones that I put in this spring, but still, I haven't even gotten them to flower before so this I am declaring as a small victory. I am delighting in the little thing. You have to win the battle before you win the war.

Fast Food

2008-07-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

So here is today's menu (albeit probably not the healthiest one ever) idea for my fright night, Tuesday, when Kit has to be at volleyball by 6pm. Since I haven't been planning ahead lately I have been dreading Tuesday suppers.
For a great pannini I recommend the whole wheat pannini bread from Costco. Comes in a mother big pack but freezes beautifully and even my white bread or die husband will eat it. So take a slice of the pannini bread (defrosts in the microwave in like 22 seconds), spread thin layer of pesto over half. Then pile in this order (order is of UTMOST importance in a sandwhich, wrong order and you might as well feed it to the bitch) 1 slice provolone cheese (also available from Costco pre-sliced), 2 slices calabrese salami, 1.5 slices prosciutto (also available at Costco), 2-3 slices tomatoes (I used yellow ones, it was pretty), a few Kalamata olives (cannot stress how nice these are compared to black canned olives), a nice layer of baby spinach (Costco). Then spread a thin layer of mayo on the remaining side (you could even leave this out cause it was plenty tasty without it), fold over and place on medium low heat on the BBQ for 5-7 minutes until lightly toasted and cheese is ooey-gooey. Literally a 15 minute meal, served up with some fresh mini cucumbers (aka Maysonese "cumbers"), and snap peas (both also available at Costco) for those nights when you need a saviour idea. Mmmmm, now I'm craving another one. Better go to bed quick.

Weighting

2008-07-07T20:43:00.001-07:00

First of THANK YOU SLEEPYNITA! I just love the sexy new look to my site, a cupcake can add chic to anything. Now, tonight I am amused by my dear husband. He took the bitch into the bathroom the week and a half ago and weighed her. The process of doing this is quite amusing since he has to pick up a 50+ pound dog who doesn't like to be picked up and stand on a scale and then try to read the scale with the struggling beast in his arms, then repeat this process two more times, because being a pharmacist we must take multiple measurements to ensure proper calibration. Then he weighs himself and does the math. Then he goes "No, that can't be right" and he starts the the whole process over again. After all this hooplah (isn't that a great mom word) he is going around the house going "Ooooh, that's not good", "ooooh, this is very bad" trying to get me to bite and say "What is wrong?". Just to antangonize him I resist. Finally he directs his comments to me with my name attached, so fine, I entertain him and inquire what type of moral dilemma he is faced with after the weighing in of the bitch. I suspected it might be his weight he is fretting over, he does that usually after weighing himself.
"She's a porkbelly! She weighs 54 pounds!!!" Well we do like to keep the bitch to a nice lean fighting weight of 47-48 pounds but with all her self serve snacking and garbage diving at night, it can be tough (of note lately 1kg of marshmallows, a bag of sweet bread dough, bag of cereal....). So while 6 pounds doesn't seem huge, on a medium sized dog, it can be quite noticeable. What is amusing me now though is my hubby reaction, his urgent call to action that resulted. You would think that gaining 5, 10, or 20 pounds would spur you to get exercising. Not my husband. No. It is the fact that his dog has gained 6 pounds that has had him motivated to exercise like I haven't seen in a couple of years. After not voluntarily walking the dogs for months on end, he comes with me because I make him, we have hit the off leash park 4 times in one week (two of those times he biked) and he took her roller-blading once. I kid you not I am amazed at this motivation. Had I known it was that easy, I would simply start feeding her double when I want to shave a few pounds off of him and I would have no more convincing to do to get him to excercise with me. Truly though, my motivation to get him to excercise is to get me to excercise, I usually want company so now I know how to get it. But since I have officially developed a penguin gait, I am hanging up my jogging shoes for the summer and waddling around the off-leash park with my lazy Kusa-man, while the hubby and bitch speed around on the bike, with the toddler in tow. It is a nice way to travel I have to admit. A long walk with just me and MY dog (technically Kusa is MY dog and the bitch is his), I can't say I've moments like that in at least 5 years. It gives me a moment to remember this little life I've got growing inside me, because with the bitch, and hubby, and May-may, sometimes frankly, I don't have a lot of mental time left to even give this baby a "Hi, how you doin'". So we're all happy. Hubby is frantically weighing her in, checking for progress. So his focus is a little misguided in the excercise department, the results are the same. YAY!

I Love You Mommy

2008-07-04T21:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I melted. While yes, I almost literally melted from the heat, which I would normally love at +31, I am talking about my heart. Out of the blue, my little girl cupped her little hand around my chin and looked in me in the eye and said in the sweetest little voice "I love you mommy" (ooooohhhh). While she has been prompted to say she loves me before by Daddy, or by me saying "Love you" this was an entirely different level of melt-your-heart-goodness when she just came out with this out of her own true feelings. It makes every pee in the panties (3 that day, 2 today including one on the carpet), every temper tantrum (none today thankfully), every night time waking, every too early morning, and every mess more than worth it. There are some moments in parenthood that you will just never forget. That moment, in a random place on a sidewalk in front of Motherhood Maternity, will be forever a favorite moment I have with my sweet baby girl.
I will hopefully forget how today I nearly lost my mind when that sweet little angel decided 15 minutes was enough nap for her and then proceeded to fight her way beyond her need for sleep by talking non-stop (no ounce of exagerration) for the next two hours, mostly questions beginning with "Mommy" and often ending in "what are you doing?" or "what's that sound" or "what does that smell like". I was very pregnant, very HOT, very tired, and very wanting my own nap and could only laugh and how impressive her stamina for speaking was and how even something so cute could eventually drive you CRAZY! Ahhh, to be 2.

Sending Photos

2008-06-24T19:45:00.000-07:00

Today, instead of a real post I am going to spend my 15 minutes sending Sleepynita some photos for the new site. I am not posting in lieu of blog beautification.

Totally Two

2008-06-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

Dear May-may,
You are two today. I just thought I'd tell you a little about you since you are not going to remember who you were today, and I happen to be a little infatuated with that little who. You are a sweet and loving girl, though lately you have been a little heavy on the loving daddy and little light on the loving mommy but I know that it is a phase and I don't hold it against you (I just hold it against daddy, hee hee). You are getting so close to being potty trained, you are so proud to please mommy and daddy with this. You love horses, soccer, the Backyardigans, princesses, the park, being outside, the warm weather, umbrellas, watching hockey with daddy, balloons, and learning big words. You have an innate fear of bugs which has convinced me that this fear is genetic because daddy and I have made every attempt to convince you since you could walk that bugs are fun to play with and nice and good and cute. You aren't buyin' it. You dislike most fruit (but I am persisting), most new foods, the cold winter weather, toys that speak or sing, and diaper wipes. You love fried eggs, sausage, fried rice, noodles, nuts, and juiceys. Cake is up there on that list too. You amaze me so immensely every day with your thoughts that you can now often thoroughly put into words. You observe everything, even things we don't notice. You know whose is who's when it comes to everyone's possessions and are very concerned when people take other people's things. You can carry a tune amazingly well (better than daddy in fact), you love to sing, and love to hug and kiss mommy and daddy. You love your sleep, nightime and naptime. You use the first person when speaking most of the time now, which (I don't know why) is utterly fascinating to me. You are eager to please (most of the time), cooperative (usually), and full of smiles (except if you aren't fed quickly enough in the morning). I cannot get over your beauty, your sweetest little pouty lips. Sometimes I don't want to put you to bed because I love seeing you smile. You talk to the dogs, the fish, and the cat now. You call Portia (our cat) your friend. You love to help feed the animals, especially the dogs now that you have learned how to open their food canister on your own (I think they are getting a few extra meals lately). My love for you still amazes me like the day it did when you were born, nothing in the world feels better than having you in my arms (this is the part where I cry). I love watching you grow and change and yet everyday I wish I could just freeze time and keep you like this forever. Why do we wish that? Is it the fear of losing your love as you get older? I think it may be. So promise me, my favorite little girl, that you will always let me love you this much. And then I will let you grow up, if I have to. You are two today my favorite girl, and though sometimes I cannot beleive two years have gone by, other times I can't imagine a time before you were with me. I love you.
Mommy

What the?

2008-06-10T20:16:00.000-07:00

What happened to my blog? It's that crazy Sleepynita (insert hyperlink which somehow I can't get stuped blogger to do). Imagine my surprise when I haven't posted in a month (AGGGGH, SO BAD) when I go to my page and find a beautiful new look. You rock Sleepynita. SHe has asked for some pictures to use on the new site so bear with me while I try and dig through my files to find some in the next few weeks. Anyway, a BIG PREGGO MOMMY THANK YOU! Again, how she finds the time or energy for this stuff I don't know but her mind never ceases to amaze me.

Pay Attention

2008-05-06T18:34:00.000-07:00

No, but I do thank you all for the advice on hearing voices.

What I mean by the universe trying to tell me something is...well slightly more subtle, yet lately it does feel like a slap upside the head. It just seems I'm being given all these examples of peoples' lives all around me that are having these life altering experiences that I am starting to think this is showing me something, gently tapping me on the shoulder saying "Hey wake up", then shoving me saying "Hey, pay attention here", and now slapping me in the side of the head repeatedly shouting into my face "Hey studid, you snooze you lose". What the true lesson here is still a little unclear but it has got me thinking. It started with the separation of my sister from her husband after 19 (YES NINE-freakin'-TEEN) years of marriage. I am not even old enough to have a sister who has been married for 19 years but since she got married at 17, the math does seem to work out somehow. Wow, that sort of makes you go "Huh?". How did that happen? What got you to that point?

Then there is my friend who's dad died at the age of 60(ish). The man was one of those people who literally warms up a room with his presence; someone you will make you feel like he's known you for years the first time he meets you. I only visited with him a handful of times but his death really struck something inside me. It seems like such a great loss, such a good soul. Would there be that same feeling if I left this world? Am doing what I can to connect with people and share my spirit with people? Definitely not to the fullest.

This week a dear friend of mine went in for caridac artery bypass surgery. He is in his early fifties, previously healthy until started having shortness of breath with exertion a few months ago. After some discussions I suggested his problem my be cardiac and that he should ask his doctor about having a stress test. Upon further investigations, he was sent for an angiogram to assess the degree of coronary vessel blockage he had and was promptly admitted to ICU to await surgery. Thank god nothing happened before that. How lucky he is, how lucky we are that he is safely recovering from surgery today.

On "What Not to Wear" on Friday (yes I am a serious WNTW addict, and although spiritual inspiration is not the usual motivation for watching it...) they did a wardrobe makeover for a 29 year old that has been widowed for the past 6 years. Widowed at 23! How can that BE? And there are a bunch of other little things that I've seen, noticed, experienced over the past few weeks that have me going "Hmmm, I think I need to pay attention." I think I need to focus on what is important. Love my love ones. I mean take the time to really love them. I'm sure there's more to it so I am just trying to keep things in perspective, pay attention. Not exactly sure where that is leading, what else exactly I should be paying attention to but staying tuned in to...whatever that is. Okay, that's my deep thought for the week, probably month. Heck who knows, it's likely the overactive hormones talking. No, not really but it's always a good excuse.

What?

2008-05-02T22:13:00.000-07:00

I think the universe is trying to tell me something.

Rice Shrice

2008-04-29T18:42:00.000-07:00

Late last week when I started seeing all these headlines about the impending food shortages, I admit, I was a bit....confused. How can there be a shortage of rice? It's seems pretty available. And while yes, the price of a 10kg bag of flour has increased a couple of bucks in the last year, it's not really breaking my bankbook yet. So what is with all the hype? The papers sternly warn, consumers will be paying 50-100% more for wheat and rice products. So my bread now costs me $6 instead of $3. Yes, while it sucks, again not something that will make me stop eating bread. Who this affects is the people in countries who have $10/month to feed a family, when they are making $20/month. These are the people who need help. I don't really think anyone here in North America, or other developed countries can complain about food costs when we will pay $200 for a handbag or $100 for a pair of jeans. I am getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow, it will cost me around $100, complaining about $5 bread seems a bit ludicrous in complarison. Seriously, when my kid has so many clothes she outgrows them before wearing them twice, I should be willing to pay $10 for a bag of rice that could feed my family for a couple weeks (if god forbid that is all we had to eat). Did you drink a Starbuck's latte this week? Well next time you think about it, go buy a loaf of bread instead.
Secondly, don't you think there is something wrong with the headlines declaring a food crisis when everyday, the Costco my sister works for fills DUMPSTERS full of food because the PACKAGING is damaged!! They will dispose of cereal, crackers, cookies, and snacks because the outer cardboard is sliced, the inner bag that actually holds the food is still intact. Why? It doesn't look pretty on the shelves. And not only is thrown out, an employee would be fired if they were found taking the RTV's (Return to vendor; also known as write it down and throw it in the dumpster) home. And this is just the tip of the ice berg in food wastage, this much I know for sure. So I am sorry, I can't buy into the whining about the price of things like flour, rice, and produce when there exists this kind of lunacy in our world. And another reason why not, when we will go to a resaurant and pay up to $100-150 for dinner for 2 at a nice restaurant, really, we have NO RIGHT to whine. This really burns my butt, because if we really want to complain, let's be reasonable...it's supposed to snow tomorrow on the last day of April.

Waiting for the floors to dry...

2008-04-25T20:22:00.000-07:00

Today is a funny day, not funny ha ha, but funny like WTF is going on. Mayson started things off by waking up before 7 am this morning (HIGHLY unusual) wailing her head off (even more unusual). I tried to go in and convince her to go back to bed but she was having none of it (also HIGHLY unusual, the kid likes to sleep in god bless her). So we got up "early" (as all other moms reading are tsk'ing and shaking their heads I know) and went down for breakfast. Usually when offered the usual breakfast fair, she happily obliges - cereal, bananas, toast, oatmeal, etc. Today she starts demanding noodles. Not blood likely am I making noodles at 7 am, so I carry on and make her some toast and give her some cereal, or should I say I made the dogs some toast and gave the dogs some cereal because that's who she promptly gave it to. Not funny. Okay, so I now I have a couple of hours to kill before heading out to a swimming date with a friend. So, because Mayson in such lovely mood from refusing to eat the ONE and only meal she will reliably eat, it's time for my old pal Pablo to do some child minding while I get some laundry in and round things up for our outing, not to mention catch a quick coffee. Off to the pool, fine and dandy. Swim, swim, swim, all good. Change room, Mayson refuses to shower (I force her and she is not happy), then she decides to empty the baby shampoo bottle on the change room bench while I'm getting dressed. When I start wiping it up, she goes "wash hair" and rubs it in her already clean hair. Now I'm dressed and there is no way I'm getting her back in the shower after that ordeal. We end the change room fun with Mayson dropping a metal encased 1.2 L bottle of water on my toe, I think it is fractured.
After a quick visit with another friend, we make a quick stop at Costco. Mayson whines about sitting in the seat in the cart and wants to sit in the basket, so I cave. As I mosey from the door to the clothing section I keep telling her she HAS TO SIT DOWN, over and over I say this. She repeatedly stands up. Okay, you can stand, but you must hang on to the seat of the cart facing mommy (so I can keep a hand on her and make sure she doesn't fall). I am acutely aware of the great potential of her falling and yet against my better judgement I try to accomodate her and reduce the risk. We get to the clothes. I stop the cart to look at something. The cart is stopped, Mayson moves toward the end of the cart, her movement causes the cart to move a little AND...yes the unthinkable happens, as I shout Mayson, she teeters head first over the end of the cart and WHACK, lands on her back on the concrete. She must of had the wind knocked out of her pretty good because I had her picked up and was talking in her ear before the first wail came out. I wanted to cry too but couldn't because all the eyes on us forced me to keep it together (so I'll cry now instead). I am that idiotic parent every retail employee talks about, how they see kids fall out of the cart all the time and yet these people who are too stupid to do the right thing let their children stand in the cart. I am that parent. I am the parent who could have been on her way to the emergency department this afternoon after her child had a seizure from cracking her head on the concrete floor in Costco. Or whose child teeth were lying in a pool of blood on the floor of Costco. I am that parent who shouldn't be allowed to have kids because they are just too stupid and irresponsible.
But I know I am usually smarter than that. I like to think that I am responsible. I feel like a lesson was taught to me today that will stick with me and always be a hard one to live by - that doing what makes your child happy and doing what is in your childs best interest are very often not the same thing. And what a disaster can result when you choose the wrong course. I got lucky, I got really, really lucky today. I keep thanking god that my perfect baby is still perfect tonight as she sleeps in her crib, I will probably even go look in on her just to reassure myself of that. I will never get the picture out of my mind of her little body summersaulting over the end of that cart and how badly I as shaking as I held her there in the clothing aisle for 10 minutes, trying to calm her down. How that shaking finally stopped on the drive home. I know other parents are not so lucky, sometimes even the tiniest lapses in judgement can change a lifetime. That's the crap deal about parenting. It's not like a job where you can have a slack day or you've got someone double checking your work. With parenting, sometimes a moment of inattentiveness, or a bad decision, can go either way. That's the risk we take when we bring these little miracles into this world. It's one hell of a responsibility for anyone to bare. We are rewarded for it a thousand fold everyday with smiles and hugs and "I wuv you"'s. All we can do is our best. Today my best turned out to be not that good. Tomorrow I hope my best will be better.

i-Phone Widow

2008-03-25T18:29:00.000-07:00

You've heard of hockey widows right? In fact I am one, which I don't mind at all. Having 2 or 3 nights a week to myself to paint my toenails, bake muffins, or if I'm really lucky and the game falls on a Friday, to watch "What Not to Wear" in peace is a really good thing. Especially when you live in Edmonton and know that chances of this schedule going beyond early April in any given year are slim (year to note as the exception: 2006 which is why I was delivering my baby to the sound of game 3 of the final series of the Stanley Cup final on the radio). So hockey widowery (is that a word?) has its perks for sure. But I am in the midst of another type of virtual death of my husband which is a little less satisfying. This I call becoming the gadget widow. At present I specifically have become the i-Phone widow. Unlike the hockey obsession, this one is full time, 24-7 for however long it takes for the novelty of the latest device to wear off. And let me tell you, that damn MacIntosh company can pack a heck of alot of features into a little seemingly harmless device. This is a loss of any sort of attention, conversation, interest in anything real-life that I do occasionally desire from my life companion. Even while driving, when I try to squeeze some sort of conversation out of him, all I get is "mmm-hmmm" while a far off distant gaze is thinking what he can download next, what other device he can sync it to , where he can show off it's video out capabilities...I just want to plan our summer vacation. Mayson is right now standing in the living room saying "Daddy, daddy, daddy, bath please" while he is downloading music, occasionally grunting "uh-huh", without looking up.
I guess the good thing about this kind of death is that they do eventually come back from the dead. They learn all they need to learn about the gadget and all I have left to do is buy a bigger stacked drawer organizer to put next to the phone on the desk to house yet another electronic device that gets hauled around daily along with the other 5, which will always end up sitting on my breakfast bar and not in the drawer organizer anyway. This time it's been okay though because I suppose I have made him a bit of a pregnancy widower with my constant napping, going to bed at 8pm and being so exhausted, nauseated and grouchy when I am awake that I am not much fun to be around anyway. So this time, the timing worked out. But there is always a next time, and it usually bugs the piss out of me when he gets that way. So while I am not mourning now, the next death will hurt more. I know that Sleepynita can relate.

Bread = Thirst

2008-03-17T20:36:00.000-07:00

What I learned from my dogs this past week:

1. When a dog eats a full size loaf of multigrain bread, a dog gets very thirsty.
2. When left at home alone all day with a bucket of water a dog will choose to take the occasional slurp from the toilet and then, immediately upon the arrival of its family proceed to run back and forth to the water bucket drinking and dripping all 4 litres of water over the entire main floor.
3. When a dog is called to come to its owner at the dog park to go home, a dog will stop and consider this decision for 4.33 minutes, and will only be convinced to do the right thing if you feed all other dogs near you Scooby Snacks.
4. For some dogs, suprisingly, eating an entire loaf of multigrain bread does not give them diarrhea.
5. Some dogs when given the choice between Kleenex and used diapers (peed only thankfully) and bread will ALWAYS choose the former (note this is not the same dog as mentioned in #4).
6. When dogs loose 4 and 1/2 pounds of hair, they run around like mad hatters until they tire out and will then curl themselves into the tiniest ball possible on the couch, looking super pathetic, and not move for 10-20 hours.
7. When trying to nap on the couch, the stink of a dogs breath is multiplied by a factor of 100 when the dog continually puts its nose 1/8 of an inch from yours.
8. Even with a riding toddlers toy on top of the step-on garbage can and two kitchen chairs wedged in front of it, a dog that has been starved to a mere 2 meals a day will find a way to move those chairs and devour any resemblence of food in the can.
9. Even though dogs will eat all food products left on the counter overnight as proven over the past 5 years, some male owners of dogs seem to think two loaves of bread and two bags of buns will be safe teetering on the edge of the counter, just this once.
10. Dogs are somehow still loveable despite #1-9.

Ehhh...

2008-03-03T18:57:00.000-08:00

So I really have nothing interesting to say except wow! how quickly my resolution to blog and run faded. Yeah, I am a statistic that's for sure. For some reason I am not busy but totally exhausted lately. Cooking supper and tidying up is all I can muster in the evenings. I would like to say it is partly because we dismissed our housecleaner but frankly this weekend was the first time that has really affected my life (she's only been gone 2 weeks) and I was happy to know that my house was as clean as I wanted it (I was having my doubts before). I love the smell of fresh scent bleach on my floor! Making lots of pasta lately. Gave Kusa a major spring do, the poor guy would be freezing his balls off right now but as I kept telling him as I took the razor to his hiney, you've got nothing left there to fear buddy. Mayson's keeping me on my toes with not eating much of anything, whining for chocolate milk (thanks nanny) and Pablo (thanks Joanne) hourly, and getting me to read Cops and Robots every 6-8 minutes. Thinking I should get rid of any bit of long hair for the summer, hoping for a scorcher. Possibly have had a low grad flu for the last week, what's up? Amotivated for running, baking, walking the dogs, and eating healthy. Volleyball season is drawing to a close. Need to get some new dress shoes. Need to paint my toenails. My solution to being too sore from yoga class on Monday to play volleyball effectively on Wednesday is not do more yoga to get more fit but to try less at yoga to decrease soreness. Seems to have worked today.

Winter

2008-02-08T08:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm not one of those people who starts chanting how much they hate winter in October and doesn't shut up until April (those people really need to move somewhere warmer, honestly) BUT... I have to admit, the cold weather has been wearing on me a little lately, getting me dreaming of summer and all it's wonder. Interestingly, one of favorite things about summer is not one most people would guess, so here are my top ten reasons I love summer.

10. My garden - I get down right giddy in the spring when I see little green things popping out of the ground that just a few short months ago was frozen solid.

9. Clothing - I enjoy tank tops and bare feet, not to mention going sockless. Also summer shoes are far more diverse in choices than are winter ones.

8. Door mats - the doormats are generally dry and clean in the summer, instead of filled with sand and water that track all over the house.

7. Walks - I can walk my dogs everyday (I could in the winter but I refuse to walk in the cold and the dark which is pretty much all winter).

6. Windows - I can have the windows open brining in fresh air and sounds of the neighborhood, it's like waking up your house from hibernation.

5. Dogs - the dogs can spend long parts of the day outside, that makes them happy and me!

4. Park - going to the park to let Mayson have a blast AND get totally tuckered out, who could ask for anything better

3. Wading pools - spending a hot summer day with Mayson at the legislature grounds under the shade of the trees with a picnic lunch, oh yeah!

2. Daylight - more is better.

1. Dry floors - the most annoying part of winter lately for me has been my dogs drinking bucket being indoors, they drink and then drip water ALL OVER the main floor (unless we catch them and towel off their chins). They seem to know this annoys me so they will take turns drinking then running away from the bucket to maximize the surface are they can cover with the chin run-off. Kusa especially will do this repeatedly, unless I stand over him for 5 minutes while he drinks in one session because he knows I will get mad. If I don't stand over him he will "slurp slurp slurp" then turn around, drip drip drip water all over, "slurp slurp slurp slurp" then run to the kitchen then "slurp, slurp, slurp" ... you get the idea. And to add to the annoyance, he has all day to drink while we are at work and what does he do literally the minute we walk in the door? Slurp, slurp, slurp...AGGGGGH, I could kill him but then I feel guilty for being so annoyed when really, they do need to drink to stay alive (theoretically; though I've been tempted lately to test this hypothesis). So anyway, in the summer, the bucket goes on the deck as soon as it becomes above 0 during the day and stays there until the temperature drops to below 0 during the day in the fall. That is worth more than all the other benefits of summer I think, but they are all pretty good.

So here's to dreaming of warmer days with dry floors, it's just around the corner.

You Said it T.

2008-02-04T19:14:00.001-08:00

I agree T. ! I too am into Deceptively Delicious lately, it's so fun to try and sneak all these hidden veggies in husband's and babe's food. I love, of course, the PB & J muffins, I took the recipe literally and bought the fresh PB at Safeway (love the Nut Bar, name included, at Riverbend Safeway) and I think that made them especially good. It is so satisfying to think you are getting good food into your kid. Sentnces are a flying out fast and furious now "Mommy, sleep, nap time please" and (upon putting on her neon knee socks for the first time on Sunday morning) "Show daddy socks". Too funny to think a year ago she was just past the veggie-baby stage and getting onto all fours was the party trick of the day. I do love the veggie-baby stage though, my new niece Elizabeth reminds me of that...

Isn't she cute??
Okay, I need to go read recipe books now and plan my next muffin endeavour.

Why do I do this?

2008-01-17T19:14:00.001-08:00

Work that is. It is an unusual thing that lately all I can think aobut is NOT working. I am wondering why I am throwing away these precious days of Mayson's childhood, sitting in front of some computer screen while she is laughing playing, saying new words and making memories without me. While this is probably a normal thing moms go through from time to time, at least I hope, I do sincerely wonder if dad's ever go through this. Of course I am too scared to ask my husband lest he say yes, it kills him that he doesn't get to see Mayson for 5 days every week and that he really needs to work less and see her more because that may translate into me working more so you see my dilemma in not wanting to the truth on that one but wondering just the same because I really can find no moral justification for my own voluntary absence from my child's days (intentional run on sentence by the way). I like my job, really I do, most days anyway, I really like it, as much as I could like any job BUT... my heart is wandering so they say. Like I say, hopefully it is a phase but let it be said to all those moms out there who are fortunate enough to be at home with their children, appreciate every moment, no really, APPRECIATE EVERY MOMENT. Okay there. Hmmm, what else, what the heck, my kids been in bed for 40 minutes and I can hear her on the monitor babbling to herself, WHAT THE?? Completely unrelated I am really liking the cookbook Eat, Shrink, and Be Merry, I have had it for a year or two and have been using it quite a bit lately (by quite a bit I mean more than never which is how much I used it over the past two years) and I have to say while not GOURMET, everything I have made from there is really good. I am a muffin ma'am (get it "Muffin Ma'am" vs. "Muffin Man", or as Mayson says "Mussin man") so I am always looking for a new and tasty muffin of the week. So this week I am promo'ing the "Little Miss Muffin Tops" from the afore mentioned book. I love anything that has any ingredient containing any of the following words: wheat, oat, bran, grain, germ, seed. Of course I am also fond of sugar but feel a little guilty of that so if the recipe has sugar AND one of the other words then I focus on the latter and revel in my excellent nutrition choice. Okay, here is the recipe. I substituted rasberries for blueberries and they were fantastic, I wouldn't change a thing (also because raspberries are less sweet than blueberries I added a little more sugar but since the recipes contains more than one ingredient containing those good words mentioned above I think this is entirely offset by those healthy things).

1 cup quick oats (NOT instant)
1 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup oat bran
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup coconut
1 tsp each cinnamon and baking powder (the can)
1/2 tsp each baking soda (the box) and salt
1 cup mashed bananas
1/2 cup low fat plain yogurt
3 Tbsp melted butter
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup blueberries (or whatever berries you like)

Heat oven to 375.
Mix dry ingredients (everything before bananas - bananas are wet in case you forgot)
In another bowl mix wet ingredients (except berries, berries are neither dry nor wet, berries are special). Add wet to dry, stir until JUST mixed (the key to good muffins is not overstirring, but we ALL know that don't we). Fold in berries. Pour into greased muffin cups and bake around 20 minutes (until done, you know the drill). They freeze beautifully. Truly a 15 minute endeavour and you'll have a nice snack for the kids and to have at work with your overpriced coffee from whatever vendor when you could have just drank the crud from the lunch room, but when you're eating muffins this good, you'll feel justified in buying that good quality coffee to pair with them.
And, because there's never a bad time for a naked cowgirl baby reading a book in a laundry basket...

Resolution, revolution, rebelution

2008-01-08T19:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, I hereby declare myself back to blogging. No Sleepynita, you did not waste countless hours developing my beautifully personalized blog page only to have me fall off the actually-flat blogging planet. I have returned from the outer space world of "real life" into my comfy cyber world once again. Greetings bloggerlings, I come in peace. So I likely have annoyed all two of my readers but heh, they are both moms so will inevitably be looking for a way to stay up past 10pm some Friday night and thus they will come back to me, I know they will. So I really have nothing to say today, blogging mindset takes a bit of practice, which like running, I have given up in the name of Christmas. So now my cardio and my composition shall require some reconditioning so bear with me. Hopefully they both come back to November levels within the next month. With all the cold weather and darkness I have nothing but optimism in that regard. Wishing all a very merry January and oh, if I don't post for another month it's because I am on my treadmill...either that or...Chinese New Year is coming up.

Too long

2007-12-15T08:41:00.000-08:00

Not my pants but since I posted. While I have found out that Eddie Bauer sells everything in their collection in tall (on line only, not in stores, yeah and boo), I have also been taking in all the events and stresses of the wonderful Christmas season. I have had my mom visit twice this month, how wonderful is it to have a live in babysitter, I asked her if she wanted to move in to the computer room permanently (with the cat) but she declined. We did the Festival of Trees, the Santa Claus parade, Bright Nights, Christmas at the Legislature, Christmas pictures at Sears, a mom's group Christmas party (sadly the only Christmas party I did this year was with 11 one-year-olds, but it was a blast), shopping, stressing about shopping with a toddler in tow, baking, cleaning, sewing my brains out, stressing about not getting all the sewing done (still not done), doing the 18 months vaccine and doctor visits, and not excercising. Hmmm, seems the only thing I need now is the flu and my Christmas season will be complete! Anyway, I will try to stop making excuses and start posting, but all this wrapping and decorating zaps my creativity, as you can see.

Diagnosis Roseola

2007-11-08T06:49:00.000-08:00

So the fever's origin has revealed itself and we are pretty sure it is Roseola (aka. baby measles). The poor kid broke out in spots yesterday and to top it all off she fell and whacked her noggin on the brick fireplace step at nanny's place. Ugggh, with this and the truck being towed, and the two photo radar tickets (not me, my dear husband), and the cat having eight teeth pulled, and the fish dying I feel like there is some sort of black cloud over our house. I feel like I need to do a major cleaning and shoo out the evil spirits. Anyway, hopefully we're good for crap for awhile, we've had our share this week.

What about me?

2007-11-06T20:30:00.001-08:00

Okay, I am feeling a little drained today after spending all day nursing my sick kid yesterday and tending to a cat recovering from surgery today all the while trying to give my two extremely attention starved dogs some scrap of positive attention, sorry dear husband, today is not your day. So here is my philosophy on sick kids. Let them eat cookies for breakfast, lunch, and supper, give them juice whenever they ask, and put Backyardigans on continuous repeat for the day. Plan to get entirely nothing done but sitting on the couch to hold them (you aren't home from work to clean the basement after all). Drug them, at maximum allowable doses. Allow them to eat in you arms if they don't want to sit in the highchair. Take them to Safeway to buy them Peppermint ice cream (not Save-On Foods because they don't have it), take them to the pet store to look at fish and birds to cheer them up (at both outings keep their mitts on so they don't spread germs). Let them wear the coat, hat, and mitts while watching TV if they so demand. Put them to bed early and let them fall asleep on your chest if they cry hysterically when you try to put them to bed. Basically, do everything you have tried so hard not to do all this time when you have been trying to be a good parent because it is just as nice for you as it is for them, this is your chance to spoil your kid silly and not feel bad about it! BUT... all of the above behaviour must cease when the fever breaks, because you are a good parent.

Mayson's morning

2007-10-28T08:21:00.000-07:00

seewaw.Shish, shish, shish. chacha.cat cat. deh deh. MUMMMY! ha-ha-harses. ma-mummy. Pabo? pabo? PAABBOOO (crying). phone. dawgs, dawgs. muuuummmy, are you? shish, shish, doh, doh. BAALL!!! wrus, wrus. CHA-CHA. doin? CHA-CHA. Hi. harses. Dadoo, up pees. up pees. pup. she. Daddy? dis, dis, dis. up. punkin, punkin.

2007-10-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

The lion luring it's prey...

The prey unaware, is baited......

The attack....

SMOOOOOCH!

How cute is that?

Who's Your Daddy?

2007-10-27T21:19:00.000-07:00

Not me!

Baby is Back

2007-10-21T21:12:00.000-07:00

Well, I have returned from the Great White north and I have lived to tell the tale. Actually, not much tale to tell. Spent a week or so hanging with the fam in GP, eating lots of pie and apple crisp to the point that I have now committed to do half marathon training with my friend just to work it all off. But it sure was good, and we had lots of fun. Travelling always, always, always ends in May-may having a big fat ugly cold that causes her to fear bedtime, cry uncontrollably (which is HIGHLY unusual for bedtime), and be a general bad nighttime companion. I am so very happy to say tonight is the first night in at least 7 that she went to bed without a crying fit. YAY, I have my baby back! It is so much harder to have her cry at bedtime now than when she was 6 or 8 months old because now she is wailing in an emotionally wounded horrified tone "MUUMMMMYYYY, MUMMY, MUMMMY, mummy?" Ugggh, knife through the heart that one.
But while that baby is back, a new one has stopped by to visit our house, the baby that hits mummy, and occasionally nanny and daddy. I don't like this baby and would like to send it back but no one seems to know who it's parents are. I have given this baby a stern talking to, given it time out on the steps and couch, and tried ignoring it. I think the most effective to date is the firm holding of the hitting hands with a stern warning and if that fails the walking away trick is next. The hitting baby usually ends up in a crying heap of frustration, tries hitting the cupboard or tile floor and then realizes hitting these objects is less satisfying than the slap of human skin so the hitting baby gives up. Also paying visits are persistent-whining-to-see-if-I-can-get-to-watch-Backyardigans-in-the-truck baby, I-will-not-eat-anything-but-rice,-yogurt,-and-bananas baby, and I-love-horses-except-when-I-am-near-them-then-I-will-say-no-no-no-repeatedly-until-they-are-150-meters-away baby. All of these babies are interesting for a while but sometimes I want to send them back to their parents and stick with my own cutest-baby-in-the-world baby but the parents all seem to be AWOL. Maybe there is some collection bin for such things at the recycle depot down in the Safeway parking lot, I will have to check.

That's It

2007-09-30T20:21:00.000-07:00

Okay, all I can muster is a photo today. My idea of a good weekend...

The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem

2007-09-26T22:15:00.000-07:00

I was going to go to bed without posting but I was a little hungry so I went looking for a little snack before hitting the sack. Since my teeth hurt on both sides of my mouth due to fillings I got a few weeks ago I cannot eat most things edible (another issue altogether) and since I have nothing in my fridge the resembles real food (including no milk, bread or eggs, now that bad!), I spotted some cheese and thought "now there's something I can chew without pain". Here's the problem. Current cheese inventory of my fridge (keeping in mind I have no mild, eggs, yogurt or really other food besides raw veggies):

shredded mozza and cheddar mix
block parmesan reggiano
block manchego (italian centre shop, also the p.r., LOVE that place)
block asiago
block mango stilton
sliced havarti
tub of feta (costco size)
cheese strings
mascarpone
cream cheese
block gruyere
processed cheese slices (although these don't really count they are in the cheese drawer so I've included them for the sake of completeness)

I think it is a bit odd to have 12 types of cheese in one's fridge. Don't you. And I don't really consider myself a "cheese person". Hmmm. Oh yeah, and we ate the brie on the weekend so that would have been 13.

Shish

2007-09-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

Busy weekend. Bought shish and tank (Maysonese for fish) because baby loves shish and what baby loves baby gets. God, no not really but is mildly entertaining to see how excited she gets every time she walks by the tank. 8 loads of laundry done in 2 days, 3 loads left to fold. Still need to finish my gardening clean up, almost October. Sore from yoga, yikes, need to excercise more. Candle party, clothing party, kids sale, spending too much money. Kusa stole some bread, what the? Who do you think you are? Chiantra? Too tired to be interesting or witty. Need sleep but also need to do dishes, fold laundry, clean up garden, pick up dog poo, scoop litter, go running, pack lunches, sew blankets, read books, bake for therapy, cook for necessity, get Mayson some tights, talk to my husband, have coffee with about 10 friends I haven't seen in a hundred years, and go to work. Oh yeah, knitting lessons tomorrow, because I need a way to fill up my time.

I Hate Moms Like That

2007-09-17T20:03:00.000-07:00

Okay, I hate moms who are always countering every comment you have with stats about how early their kid walked and how many times they peed on the potty and how they reached every developmental milestone light years before they were supposed to. But for one moment I just have to say how impressed I am at my little Boo and her speaking. God knows why but she is a vocab diva! It is my turn to brag, because I know Sleepynita is the only one who really reads this anyway and she knows I'm not really that kind of mom (at least I hope she does right girl, right?). I usually feel a bit shy to say so when so many people comment on how good her verbal skills are, but hell yeah they are good. Heck one of her first words was outside, I think that was also Thomas Edison's first word! So here's the difference. While yes I am thrilled every day when she tries out all the words I feed her, and beam with pride when she says new ones she discovers entirely through her own observation (like Tanya (tanna) but that one is kind of annoying) I know that she won't be going to Harvard because she started saying "necklace" last week and she will not necessarily become a rocket scientist because she can say house, banana, or juice. So I can stay on pedestal and say, "God I hate moms like that." By the way, do you know I counted and Mayson now has 40+ words, and yesterday she was doing long division.

Resurfacing

2007-09-12T21:41:00.000-07:00

I am resurfacing after a week of wonderful vacation chilaxin (I just had to use that term because it is my SUPER pet peeve) in beautiful BC. I love camping, HATE Beaver Lake Resort, love Okanagan Pinot Blanc, and hate driving 7 or more hours with a toddler and only 2 Backyardigans (Crackyardigans) DVD's. What is it with that show, why is it like heroin for my 15 month old. She would trade her gagou (soother) for a 15 minute episode and that is serious stuff! Missed the dogs, yes even the bitch. She stole a cupcake yesterday while I was in the room. I was actually pleased because if she starts doing it in front of me maybe I will catch her the act and it may make some sort of neuron connection in her pea brain. Probably not but at least I won't feel as bad when I give her the beats.

Uhhh...

2007-08-29T19:40:00.001-07:00

I have bloggers block. Chiantra makes me realize how much I love my cat.

HELP ME OBI ONE KANOBI (aka D. Miner), YOU"RE MY ONLY HOPE

2007-08-19T21:34:00.000-07:00

So the breeder once tole me (it's much easier to type before three glasses of wine on a Sunday night), that he applies a certain oil to the Airedale coat to help condition it. Does canola oil that pork spring rolls have been cooked in add anything extra to that recommendation over the usual mineral, avacado, or olive oil? Do you think Asian appetizer infused oil from your range top will improve your Airedale's head and front leg furnishings? I may atest, it does not. Nor does it, by the way, improve the softenss, pliability, and general comfort/aroma of your leather sofa and cushions (upon which your Airedale slept after drinking 521 mL of spring roll oil left so innocently on the range top by an unsuspecting mom). So, Dorothy Miner (respected author of Airedale Terriers: a complete pet owners' manual), in the chapter on Training Your Airedale you mention positive reinforcement. If your dog does nothing positive, how does one reinforce. How, DM, do I reinforce that nothing the dog is doing, is good. How do I teach, GO TO SLEEP GOD DAMMIT AND DON"T TOUCH ANYTHING ON THE F%*!ING COUNTER, GARBAGE, (AND NOW) OR STOVE!!!! My darling angel, THE BITCH, seems to have the nose required to sniff out cocaine that the drug dealer at the airport shoved up his ass five days ago, removed and crapped 6 times since, so how do I ENCOURAGE her away from DRINKING OOIILLL!!!!

DM says "An unruly Airedale that has taken over alpha position in the family is a major pest." (mild understatement to say the least). DM then goes on to discuss in full how to train an Airedale to Sit, Stay, Sit-Stay, Down, Down-Stay, Heel, etc, etc. all the functions of the competitive Obedience trial ring. We took the BITCH to class. She will sit, and down, and stay, etc for food. The problem is, she will also garbage-dive, chew through over priced food storage containers and travel bags, and reek general havock upon a daily household for FOOD!! I need a special chapter on (instead of the special chapter on How To Train an Airedale as advertised on the front of DM's book) how to UN-food-motivate your Airedale. Sigh, is the sequel out soon DM??? (I take liberty to write all of this because DM owns a brother of "My Main Man" Kusa and in her infinite wisdom has been quoted to say "A VERY smart dog, but VERY annoying".

My Chiantra

2007-08-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

To the tune of "My Bonnie Sails over the Ocean" (I've been hearing that baby i-pod too much because this is what I thought up while doing a drug review today at work):

My Chiantra she dives into the garbage
My Chiantra she takes out some meat
My Chiantra she chews up my Tupperware
Oh give me my Chiantra to beat.

Beat her, beat her, a good slap on her rear end
Beat her, beat her, but I know she will do it again

Total this past week: 1 Tupperware dish, one ziploc bag of rib juice from the garbage, one half of a CHOCOLATE CUPCAKE (this is taking things too far bitch, now you've made it personal, and I was only upstairs for 15 minutes giving Mayson a bath, arrrrghhh), pack of gum off kitchen table, used diaper from the garbage (although on my run the next day I found out that Kusa also partook of that prize, luckily for her it was only pee), broke into a bag of dogfood in the basement while I was down there on the treadmill, yes I should have noticed but I was really into What Not to Wear).

And why, you ask, do I insist on buying overpriced brand name Tupperware when my dog has this insanely aggravating habit. That is probably why, it is the terrier in me. It is like a battle of wills, and she will not win. If I fold, I am admitting defeat. I will keep on paying a small fortune for plastic to microwave my food in and give me cancer because if I go for the cheap stuff I am admitting she will never stop. And dammit, I am the alpha dog, she will listen to me, or at least she will likely die before me anyway.

Sugar is my Friend...mmmm sugar.

2007-08-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I have this not-so-secret infatuation with cupcakes. I don't know what it is but I guess it because you can get cake in one little serving it cuts the guilt or something but anyway, let it be said that I cannot resist a miniature cake piled high (or low) with icing and fanciful decorative items. So, I was all too sad I had to leave my friends wedding on the long weekend because they hadn't passed out the cupcake wedding cake by the time Mayson went into meltdown necessicating our immediate exit. So I guess I made up for it this week when I tried out a new cupcake shop in my neighborhood called the Whimsical Cake Studio. I was most impressed with their offerings, the variety was a little less than the Cupcake Bakeshoppe but I have to say the cake was a cut above. It had a great dense moist texture whereas the Cupcake Bakeshoppe cake is a bit on the airy-fairy side for me (I take my cupcakes wet and heavy). Not to say the CB cake isn't good, it's just not my favorite style of cake (however I did try them when they very first opened and I have heard they have adapted their batter recipes since then). CB's icing however is the most heavenly stuff I could imagine piling 4 inches high on a cupcake (just don't eat them straight out of the fridge, the icing MUST be room temperature to be experienced properly) and bless their little hearts for putting the icing all the way to the edge. Great personalities too. But back to the WCS, their shop is all retro'd up and they have some really cute little baby/kids stuff, which somehow totally goes with cupcakes. The giftware was really reasonably priced and unique (they had tiny little baker aprons for toddlers). All in all, I loved WCS, just wish their icing went all the way to the edge because truly, the cupcake is really all about the icing isn't it?
Then, later this week I was in our newly renovated Riverbend Safeway (which is really beautiful with many novel features if you haven't been you simply must stop in for a look) and noticed that they too are now offering indivdually sold GOURMET cupcakes at their bakery. So I got one for hubby (which is still in the fridge, did I mention he is a freak?) and chocolate truffle one for me (choc cake, choc icing, with chocolate truffle coating over the icing). It was pretty damn good for half the price of the boutique cupcakes. So that is my cupcake dining experience so far this week, makes me want to head back over to CB (haven't had their cakes since my baby shower in May 2006).
Since I'm on the subject I have also tried Babycakes in Wolf Willow and found their cupcakes to be not very impressive. The cakes were too small and the icing not piled high enough to leave me wanting more.

Bloggers vanity

2007-08-10T21:24:00.001-07:00

So when I started to blog I really didn't want anyone to know about it, then slowly a few people have found out and kept up reading it, mainly Sleepynita. I never wanted to write for an audience but really, the comments do motivate a blogger like I never expected. It must be like applause for performers or something but I find comments really get me fired up to write more, and I'm not one for attention so it's a bit strange. So anyway, comment away readers, yes all two of you, inspire me, motivate me, tell me I'm a loser, laugh at me, or shoot me down, whatever you have to offer, I love!

And now, if I were Bart Simpson's cousin, I would look like this...

New Do

2007-08-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

Wow, is this a great looking blog or what?! Thank you so so much Sleepynita for the wonderful new page template. I am the envy of all the Airedale/mommy bloggers now. I love the color scheme Sleepynita chose, she is one creative gal that can also build a room and landscape a yard while her toddler sleeps. The question is when does Sleepynita sleep? Betweend writing HTML code for hours for friends, taking care of Rito, cooking, tearing down decks, and putting up walls I think she maybe one who should check into her sleep lab. Honestly, the girl cannot possibly be human. Anyway thanks, hope Rito sleeps well anyway so that you can find a cure for cancer.

By the way, my blog is not the only one who got a new do, check it out. Sprout has sprouts.

I have Airedale-polooza going on at my house this weekend. If you think 2 Airedales and a baby is a gong show you should see 4! Oh it's been a riot let me tell you. Between the dogs impersonating one another at meal time so that they can swap food for a day and then having diarrhea at 4 am because of it, to 4 chins that drip water from the water bucket for a good hour after drinking (some of which takes place in the big white swirling bowl in the little room off the kitchen), to a stampede every time we come home that ends in Mayson landing on her (thankfully diapered) butt wailing from the indignity of being knocked over by four tails it's really been a lot of fun. Here's to learning to appreciate what you have, and don't have. Next time I'm annoyed at my 2 beasts (which will likely be sometime in the next 13.23 minutes) I'll just remember what it would be like if they multiplied.

Hot Friday (starring Ava and Mayson)

2007-08-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

As promised for J. , the two scantily clad beauties make their online debut...

The Bitch is Back

2007-08-02T21:19:00.000-07:00

Okay, after nearly calling the vet check Chiantra's tatoo number to ensure they gave me the right dog I have confirmation it is indeed The Bitch. After a month or more of good behaviour she ate through a Tupperware lunch container from Kit's bag. I gave them both a beating. Oh yeah, it did become official the other day - Mayson is now as smart as Chiantra. Prior to this she was lagging a bit behind and this is likely the TSN turning point (I hope) where she pulls ahead and wins the race but she has confirmed now that she too knows how to open the baby gate on the stairs when she wants to go up and she too can now reach (and does steal) things on the countertops. She can, like The Bitch, also open the kitchen garbage can lid, except opposite to The Bitch, she likes to put things IN. Oh what a great team they could make if only Mayson would go first, unluckily that is not the case and thus her Strawberry Shortcake Tune-pod I do beleive has been donated to the seagulls residing in the city landfill . One day I will hear the song "I like to eat, eat, eat, apples and bananas" and I will look up and seagull will have a red Tune-pod hanging arounds it's neck and then I will know for sure...arrrrggggghhhh.

The Kitchen Diary

2007-07-18T21:21:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from my Monday evening :

5:30 pm - Arrive home from the park, wondering what to cook for dinner. Enter stage left Kit (K). Enter stage right Mayson (M). Center stage, me (T).
5:30:05
T - What should we have for dinner. Mayson, NO! Close it (walk over to pantry and close door.)
5:30:08
K - I dunno (Walk over to couch, turn on TV, computer and PS3)
5:30:33
M - WAAAAAAAAAH. MAMA!
5:30:49
T - (Pick up M) Chicken burgers or Chicken salad.
5:31:45
T - KIT!
5:31:46
K - Huh?!
T - Takes M to K. Walks annoyed back to kitchen to take stock of fridge. Decides on pasta with pesto from the farmers market, italian sausage, and leftover salad/veg.
5:33:23
T - Mayson. NO! (Latches cupboard lock to appliances cupboard while trying to cut sausage).
5:33:39
T - Mayson, NO! (Latches cupboard lock to baking pans cupboard while trying to cut sausage).
5:33:54
T - Mayson, NO! (Latches poison under the sink cupboard lock while trying to cut sausage. Latches all cupboards latchable in kitchen).
5:33:56
T - Mayson, CLOSE IT! (Closes pantry door, having opened it to get the salt 2.3 seconds earlier)
5:34:16
T- Mayson! KIT! Can you entertain your offspring for a few minutes!!!!
5:37:49
M - WAAAAAH!
5:38:49
T - KIT! She is climbing into the dishwasher?! I thought you were going to watch her.
T - CHIANTRA! DROP IT! (Taking sausage out of dogs mouth)
T - KUSA! QUIT IT! (As Kusa attacks Chiantra for no apparent reason)
5:40:09
T - KUSA! STOP IT! (As Kusa enthusiastically licks the nipple of bottle being offered to him by M)
5:40:45
T - DOGS! OUTSIDE! (Open and slam back door after chasing Kusa down to throw him out into the scarey yard where the killer patio umbrella lives).
5:41:48
K - TANYA! The pasta is about to boil over!

Winer

2007-07-15T20:46:00.000-07:00

Wines I love:

Burrowing Owl Pinot Gris
Gray Monk Pinot Blanc
Lake Breeze Pinot Blanc
Gray Monk Roteberger
Stoney Ridge Sauvignon Blanc
Quail's Gate, Old Vines Foch
Inniskillin Meritage
Martinborough Pinot Noir
Arabella Chenin Blanc
Cline Zinfandel (no, NOT White Zindfandel, pet peeve)
Montes Alpha
Mouton Cadet Pomerol

Shiny New

2007-07-14T21:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, so my dear husband has made up for his mother's day blunder when he actually bought me a Wii for my very first mother's day. What better way that to say "Thank you for bearing my child in your body for nine months, spending the last year up to your armpits, quite literally, in crap and puke, washing my stinking dirty underwear, cleaning my cat's litter box, cooking me good meals, and walking my dog" than to give your wife just one more thing to try and cram into her day, and something by the way that you REALLY REALLY want for yourself. Is it coincident to this grotesque gift that my husband has historically bought every video game system on the market within two weeks of release (if not pre-ordered them)? I think not. Anyway, he has redeemed himself. This week for our ninth anniversary he took me out to our favorite restaurant, Jack's Grill, we had an very nice bottle of wine and he gave me a beautiful ring that I had tried on at a jewelery shop on our last vacation in Thailand. I am not usually a jewelery person but this is a really unique ring and it was really nice that he noticed that I liked it in the store, then snuck off and bought it while he had our friends distract me, and then kept it for 6 months to surprise me for our anniversary. That was really nice. And I like the ring. It is a little bit big and catches on things so I am not used to that but it is cool. Will add a picture of it later.

By the way, completely unrelated, I must say, I do like to order from Land's End, but dammit why do all the shopping websites have to be US based and why do you have to pay to return things, shipping returns should be included when you pay shipping.

And it is really damn hot here and I really should go water my plants outside before they die of heat stroke.

DUH

2007-07-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, you know how sometimes people tell you stories of showing up to events a week later or a day early and you think "good god, what kind of moron does that?"? In fact my sister-in-law even showed up to our place for a potluck picnic one day early once. But me, I have my social calendar in my head, my alarms are finely tuned so that I never miss an event, being on time is a totally different kettle of fish (mental note, try to improperly use more lame cliches). So I did it! I have joined the commoners in their sad inability to manage their lives and I missed my friend's son's first birthday party. How crappy is that. I would have truly showed up the next day (when I thought the party was), but Mayson spiked a fever of unknown origin and so I called my friend to tell her we couldn't make it to the party and she politely informed that she was aware that we weren't going to make it since the party was YESTERDAY! HOLY CRAP, I don't do that, THAT doesn't happen to me. My pedestal has been tipped, I have come crashing down in a flubbering mound of shame. So, sorry Emmett. Speaking of Emmett, there were only three born in Alberta last year and I know 2 of them. I think that is sort of sci-fi weirdo coincidental in a freaky six degrees from Kevin Bacon sort of way don't you? Another embarassing thing, sort of like showing up a day late, I don't know my sister's last name. I wanted to look her up on Facebook but I couldn't because I don't know her last name. She married a guy in Morocco that I had never met (he is here now since March) and yeah, I just think that it would be weird to ask your sister what her last name is so I haven't. Okay, this is going nowhere so I'll wrap it up for tonight. Three nights in row, I really think I am overextending my creative side cause this is just a trickle of those creative juices if you know what I am saying.

Mmmmm Chocolate

2007-07-09T22:15:00.000-07:00

Just for you Sleepynita, man you've got me on a roll! Two days in a row with posts, that's personal best.

If I had was coated in a candy shell I would look like this...

A Year of Life

2007-07-07T22:36:00.000-07:00

Isn't that freakin' amazing...

Then (June 10, 2006) and Now (June 10, 2007)

Inspired

2007-07-07T22:18:00.001-07:00

Okay Sleepynita, are you happy now?! Since you are working on a new blog template for me, I guess I should keep up some posts now and again so you don't feel like you are wasting your time. And now that you made me cry, no not for calling me a blogger slacker (which is entirely true and almost makes me cry) but for your post to LittleMan about when you brought him home from the hospital. It brought alive all the feelings in me about my little girl and her birth and how utterly shocking and wonderful all of that was. I too remember the day we brought her home, how the sky looked, that it was warm but there was a comfortable breeze that made my sweat pants not too hot to be in which was good because they were the only pants that both fit me and I could pull low enough not to bother my incision. I remember exactly how she looked too small to be real in that carseat and feeling like I didn't want to leave that hospital room because maybe if I didn't she could stay this way forever. I remember talking to the discharge clerk at the desk where you pay your bills, and how proud I was to lift her up to the window and hear a stranger tell me she was beautiful, as if I didn't know she was the most beautiful baby ever born. I remember staring at her all the way home as I sat in the back seat with her and how she was the only thing ever that made dad drive like a normal person because when he drove like he normally does her little head would flop all over the place. It's funny to remember all of this and not remember what I ate for dinner for the six months after that. I guess that what kids do to us, they help us see what is important. So thanks Sleepynita, for making me really cry now while writing this. Thanks for making me feel like I MUST fit IKEA and Dollarama into my schedule this week, cause god knows it has been at least three weeks since I've been to either. Thanks for all of that, and really, thanks for thinking of me with the template. Your a better blogger than I can ever hope to be but can we call it even on the mom rating?

My Main Man

2007-06-18T20:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I was looking at the cute little guy on the right of the page laying on the couch and thought I'd tell you a little bit more about what goes on in Kusa's head. I tend not to write as much about him because as they say the squeaky wheel gets the grease. But Kusa is a hippy at heart, loving everyone (cannot comprehend why anyone would not love him whole-heartedly in return), loving life...peace man. Kusa has a few draw backs but they are generally less intrusive to my everyday existence than the bitch's. He has an obsession that rivals her drive for food and his is Kleenex. Kusa will do anything to get a Kleenex, new is fine but crumpled and used is THE BEST! He will dive into jacket pockets (while your wearing the jacket and walking) without relent until he gets them, and beleive he can smell them because he will go for you as soon as you put them there. If I gave Kusa a steak on one plate and a Kleenex on another I have no doubt he would go for the Kleenex first. And so his garbage diving is not in the kitchen but in the bedrooms and bathrooms which he only has access to when the bitch decides "Screw this crap, if the baby gets to be upstairs so do I" and stealthily opens the baby gate on the stairs and invites herself up to the dog-free zone (normally she plays along pretending that the baby gate poses some sort of intectually superior locking mechanism just to keep us happy but more often now her patience wears thin and she puts her prison-break skills to work to open the bolted and pressure mounted device. If Mayson doesn't figure this out that means Chiantra is smarter than her...I digress). And so his big crime is leaving chewed up Kleenexs strewn about the second floor about once a week, minor in comparison to coffee grind and chicken grease on the kitchen floor at 6am.

Kusa is generally too lazy to cause trouble. He won't open the baby gate on the stairs because he is both scared of it and too lazy to think about how to do it. Why think about gate hardware when you can sleep on the couch? He loves to come camping but prefers to hang out in the truck rather than lie in the dirt. He really truly beleives that all furniture is made for dogs and humans alike and prefers lawnchairs/picnic tables when out for a picnic or an ice cream at the park.

His most favorite thing to do is go to the off leash park and run like a maniac as fast as possible but his vigor only lasts about a half hour tops. Then he turns into the origin of the term "doggin it" and plunks along on our trek only as fast as he has to keep up to the two legged members of the family. One time when we were biking there on a hot day he even said "Screw this" and ditched us. After a frantic search of the 100 acres we found him napping in the shade of the truck in the parking lot. That is classic Kusa. All he asks for is a leather couch to sleep on, COLD drinking water (on a rainy day the toilet will do), and food every couple of days. The odd used Kleenex is a treat. He loves to curl up (on his back with all fours in the air) with you on the couch, he hates swimming (but loves to wade in thick sticky mud), is always game for a run/walk (but not too long please, and not when it's too hot, oh, and not in the rain), and almost never barks (Chiantra please note this last one). True his fear of certain cloudy skies (haven't nailed down which clouds are the problem) have inhibited him from leaving the house which can be annoying, and his fear of umbrellas is quite ridiculous. But I can vacuum him from head to toe and he wags his tail. He loves all other dogs (oh and Chiantra, did I mention he NEVER barks??) and enjoys a good glass of champagne or chardonnay. He loves Mayson, too much to the point of licking her face with such vigor that he knocks her over but she is used to it now and doesn't cry anymore when he does. All in all, he is a really easy dog to live with. He doesn't ask for much and gives more love than I can ever return. That's my man.

2007-06-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

So it seems Chiantra is the real star of my blog. People are overly amused at my personal losses of Tupperware (yes brand name overpriced Tupperware that I can still not refrain from buying despite my OCD food-motivated bitch) and the like. So I suppose I should say something about her since I really haven't for the past while. And why have I not. Because for a short span of time she has been tamed. I have found a cure for her food-stealing obsession and that cure is called surgery. Yes, that's right, on May 30, my dear bitch got her womanhood ripped from her in the serenity of general anesthesia. I cried, yes I really did. I don't know if I was crying for her, or for the thought of her 7 beautiful puppies being the only ones she will ever have. Maybe it was because I thought I would of loved to have one of her puppies but since I will never have more than two dogs that would never happen (we freeze dog sperm so we can have pups from dead males but have not gone that far off the deep end to start freezing eggs and doing IVF with surrogate bitches). And that got me thinking about my dogs getting older and how I, and now Mayson, would cope with their deaths. I never thought of having to explain that to a child when I got the dogs. Maybe I cried because I think about my own reproductive years and how as hard as the last day of breastfeeding is now, how hard will it be when you know it is your last time ever or that you are pregnant for the last time. But who knows, maybe I was pregnant for the last time already, we can not bank on the future.
So yes, the bitch go spayed and I think they took a little part of her brain out that was labelled "sanity" because she has been a "crazy bitch" ever since. Barking like a maniac (yeah, way more than usual, even at us for like the first 5 minutes we are home), snarling at Kusa (but really he deserves it), and holing up in her kennel (her "house"). Anyway, I am giving her some lee-way (how the heck do you write that?) that she is playing the wounded dog role but seriously she better snap out of it soon or....
You know she is crazy when she hasn't stolen any food for 2 weeks. Well, I did forget about this weekend when my mom, who was in from GP for Mayson's birthday, heard her garbage diving in the middle of the night (metal garbage can with step on lid make lots of noise when you open lid with nose and let it drop closed). Anyway, apparently the paper plates from Mayson's birthday party were too much to resist so she had all 20 of them pulled out and chewed up, along with all the fruit debris and drinks. I love waking up to the usual party aftermath only to find my feet sticking to the kitchen floor whilst trying to get a crying toddler her breakfast, preparing for a second birthday, and hosting out of town company on an early Sunday morning. That is my idea of a good time. And so thanks to Chiantra it WAS a good weekend afterall. So that is all she has managed to muster the energy for lately. I do hope she continues on with her new and improved behaviour but I know better than to hope for the sky to turn green. So worry not dear readers, you can take away her womanhood but you can never get her bitch-hood.

Loser Blogger, Better Mommy and Friend

2007-06-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am a loser. I haven't been posting as regularly as I want to. I have these thoughts trailing through my head all the time but never the time to get them in here. Then when I have a moment I can't remember what I wanted to say. I promise to post more regularly. I promise to run more. I promise to eat less chocolate. I promise to moisturize my feet every night before bed. I promise to floss with enthusiasm. I promise to walk my dogs daily. I promise to fold the laundry when it comes out of the dryer so it doesn't get wrinkled from sitting in the laundry basket for a week. I promise to scoop the cat's litter more often. I promise to plan meals ahead of time and cook supper every night. I promise to delete my emails. I promise to clean my windows. I promise to read more. I promise to finish that baby blanket I've been crocheting for the past year.
Today I went and saw my friends and their new baby in the hospital. My baby turned one on Sunday. More to come.

A Big Step

2007-06-04T19:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been a little lazy with posting lately between hosting a baby shower, refinishing my deck, having the bitches spayed (poor thing), planning two birthday parties for Mayson's first this weekend AND heading back to work (part-time, I'm very lucky). So this is sort of sad excuse for a post and likely not my best work but I promise to get something more meaningful up soon. As for going back to work after maternity leave I have just a few words to say. No I am not miserable, no I wasn't dreading it, and yes I am fine. True, I did have the expected anxiety attacks and fits of tears about three weeks before the big day but I sat my self down and said this to myself:
You are chosing to go back to work. If you really have a big problem with it, if you REALLY don't want to go back don't. Here's the thing, you are CHOOSING to go back. Yes you can say you have to because of money but really, there is no have to. You choose to WANT the money so that you can keep living in your house, and paying for your SUV, and driving your SUV despite gas prices of 112.5 cents per liter (went down to 106 now, yipee) and taking holidays. So don't be miserable. Make your choice to work or not work. If you are miserable only you can help yourself out of that. And that goes for everything by the way, don't mope about where you are at. Don't be uptight about getting the laundry done everyday, love that you are at home with your baby and stop and play with her on the living room floor. Because you are where you are, so why not love it.

And so I said "Self, good point. Thank you for being so smart and keeping me grounded and focused on what I really should be." And I went to work and I had a nice day and I came home and hugged my smiling baby and we were both very happy. Okay, so that's the highlights, yes I did miss her and yes I would have cried in the driveway of my sis-in-law's place after I dropped her off had it not been for the fact that I was carpooling with my friend, and yes I did crave to sit down on my office floor and sing "This Old Man" while patting my knees a couple of times through the day, but all in all it was okay. I now I think it gives me a great excuse to buy new clothes, this whole working thing, so it really isn't all bad.
Now I must go to bed, which I am excited about because I got a new coffee maker and when I get up I get to have coffee from my new Cuisinart Brew Station, YEAH!

Chiantra's total since last post:
-garbage diving one night found a few treats
-one brand name over-priced Tupperware lunch microwavable container from the counter by the sink (got a little left over shepherd's pie)

Scarey Thoughts

2007-05-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

A year ago I was pregnant and wondering "Will I like having a baby? Will I regret giving up the good life for a life of baby puke and poopy diapers? Will I miss my selfish ways or worse yet will I carry on with my selfish ways and be overwhelmed by guilt for being a bad mom?" Well, a year later I am continually shocked and amazed at how natural and easy it is to love my baby. I know it is so cliche but I truly is the greatest thing I can imagine having happened. Now those thoughts are replaced by the fear of going back to that life I had "What if something happened to her? What if she were kidnapped, sick, or harmed in some way? Would I be able to handle it?" The possibility is far too scarey to consider seriously. So I guess that means, no I don't want my old life back because that would mean no Mayson. As for that guilt, yeah even though I have given up my selfish ways, moms automatically do and don't even think about it, the guilt is just part of the package. Do I give my kid too much Tylenol? Do I feed her too much pepperoni and not enough green beans? Should I be more strict about bedtime? Should I read to her more? Should I not watch "The View" when she's around because it may warp her little mind? Should I watch more Baby Einstein? Would I be a bad mom if I knowingly didn't change her pants when I know a little pee leaked out of her diaper onto her pants? You know what I mean. But when she shows me all that she has learned in these past 11 1/2 months, I know I must be doing okay. When I think about how insane I would go if something happened to her, I know I love her enough to make up for all those questions that I don't have answers for and I know I should let the guilt slide, because I do my best, as all of us mother's do. And we should know that that is enough. That's my mind-babble for tonight.

Raining Craps and Dogs

2007-05-22T21:20:00.001-07:00

Dear Chiantra,

I lovely you dearly little one but sometimes I don't understand how your little pea-brain works. How can you love water to swim in, to wade in, to play in any tiny puddle but hate it when it falls from the sky? Why do you hate water falling from the sky SO much that you refuse to go outside to go to the bathroom? Do you know how unpleasant it is to come downstairs at four in the morning to find a big pile of dog poo at the back door? WHY don't you just go out and poo when I offer it, EVEN THOUGH it is raining???? How can rain really offend you that much? You have fur that repels water for god's sake!! You will swim when it is minus 20 outside!! What the hell were you thinking?! I am trying very hard to restrain myself from using that phrase that no parent should ever use but....I just have to ask - why can't you be more like your brother? At least when Kusa plays his little head games like "ooh, I can't go outside in the yard to pee because there is a scarey umbrella out there" or "Ugh, I really need to take a dump but I am very scared of that medium sized cardboard box out there" he has the ability to HOLD IT until he forgets his paranoia or decides to brave it. At least he doesn't do the unthinkable. Anyway, I just wasn't impressed that you crapped on the floor that night.

Sincerely,

Your loving mother

Dear Mother,

Kusa is a braindead idiot who is afraid of children's toys and clouds. Do you really want me to be more like him? And furthermore, it is Kusa's job to bark when I need to go to the bathroom which he was too lazy to do that night so this is really his fault. And finally, it's just poo honestly. At least that way I didn't have to get my feet wet and leave paw prints on the tile floor, I really was thinking of you.

Sincerely,

Your loving daughter (aka, The Bitch)

Bitch food

2007-05-17T20:55:00.000-07:00

Chiantra's total for the past week:

1/2 loaf of bread
1 container mini-human snacks
1/3 cup of chopped fruit off cutting board while mom changed mini-human's diaper
emptied diaper bag once with no reward
emptied visitor purse once with no reward
dug through one garbage with little reward

It's been a slow week. I heard mom saying something about having to be smarter than the dog, HA, HA, HA! Who does she think she is?? Just leave the snacks in my kennel and save yourself the pain of making me tear through those zippers or pocket linings of your jackets and then you will be getting closer my level of intelligence lady!

Poopy Daze

2007-05-10T19:41:00.000-07:00

I was wondering the other day how many hours a week I spend dealing with poo. Let's see, taking into account Mayson pooing about once per day on average (diaper change taking about 5-7 minutes including redressing and disposal), scooping dog poo at least once a week taking 30-45 minutes, scooping two litter boxes (which miraculously, my husband seems to have completely forgotten that they exist even though he was solely responsible while I was pregnant, grrrrr), and my own poos (which I won't discuss in detail but let's just say no major issues there) I think I can safely estimate 2 hours a week. Not as impressive a number as it seems as when I am slaving out in the dog run in the hot sun for 45 minutes scooping while the dogs watch from their lounge chairs in the shade on the deck drinking margaritas then hearing baby wake on the monitor and going to her crib to find a leaking diaper all up her back. At times like those it seems more like 20 hours I week I spend dealing with poo. Not that I've had a "crappy" week (ooh, I do hate puns but just couldn't resist that one) but just something I was thinking of...while picking up poo.

Mid-night madness

2007-05-02T15:20:00.000-07:00

Chiantra's total for the past four days:
-1 ziploc bag of powdered baby formula
-1 box of Baby MumMum crackers, foil packages included
-1 tube of concealer

Let me tell you what happens when a dog eats a bag of powdered baby formula. First of all, formula is very sticky so when mom comes down at 5 am to make a bottle for crying baby she wonders not only why Chiantra is skulking guilt ridden by the front door but also why her feet seem to have resistance when lifting them to put one in front of the other on her way to the kitchen. Am I just so tired that it is seeming hard to walk or...wait there is a more granular feeling to the tile floor than would seem normal.
"Hmmm, damn dog, what did you do now? Who cares I will find out in the morning"
But as I round the corner to the kitchen and see the glittering of foil wrappers in a trail leading to the dog bed Iknow. "Not the brand new box of MumMums!"
And there in the bed, lying amid the shrapnel, completely oblivious and fast asleep is Kusa. Obviously not the guilty one or he would be running to hide his sorry self when he saw me. He just laid there wondering why I was staring at him with that evil look in my eye. You see, a dog will announce his guilt, you never have to wonder. That is why when I went over to the front door to confront the bitch, as we so lovingly refer to her at times, I knew I was going to be beating on the right dog. Yes I knew because of that guilty look in her eye, the tail hanging, her not wanting to face the scene of the crime and thus hiding out as far away as possible. My finely tuned dog detective senses were confirmed by the fact that all the fur on her face was caked into one white hardened clump. So yes, there are multiple ways to find the guilty culprit even in the dark of the early morning.
It wasn't until later that I found the empty ziploc bag and my husband went to use the toilet later that morning that we realized one gets very thirsty when eating enough formula powder to make a few litres of milk. So Chiantra made her own milk, reconstituted in vitro with eau de toilette, and then a few hours later made another kind of milk on the sidewalk right in front of someone's house. Projectile pooh is hard to dodge while jogging but I am skilled with the stealth of a cat. What I am not so skilled at is picking up liquid with my hand wrapped in a plastic grocery bag. So sorry dear neighbors.

Morphing into motherhood

2007-04-24T20:48:00.000-07:00

Surprising things happen when you are a mom. Yes, other than the obvious things like a human being coming out your hoo-hoo (yes I AM a healthcare professional and yet I still use the word hoo-hoo) and milk coming out of your boobs (really WEIRD when you stop to think about it). But other things too. Like all of the sudden I find myself eating more vegetables. I realize lately that often I am telling Mayson "No, you can't have that" when she is wanting some of my food. Then the light bulb came on, well if she shouldn't be eating it, should I really be eating it?? It has really made me pay closer attention to what I eat and wow, if she ate as much sugar in a day as I do. Well let's just say I'm on a week of sugar wind down to try and get myself off of that crack.

And then there is the whole spousal interactions thing where you realize not just the words you say are influencing your child but before they can even make sense of the words they are reading your mood and intent by your tones, gestures and body language. All of the sudden you are aware of how often you are perhaps a little rude or nasty to your husband and you genuinely want to stop it, not just for the babies sake but for your own relationship. I just never expected to learn so much about myself from such a little person. It really is quite surprising. It is also surprising that I eat parts of almost all my meals from a red plastic spoon, that I sing most of the day (that's totally new and WEIRD), that I hold no resentment at someone for waking me up in the middle of the night (repeatedly), and that I can make a toga/diaper out of a receiving blanket when the going gets tough. These are the funny surprises that keep me loving motherhood and wondering what each new day will bring. Lots of smiles are an absolute garantee that's about the only thing I know for sure I will have when I get up each day.

Chiantra's daily total: 2 tupperware contatiners, one chicken drumstick (stolen from the garbage bag that was on the deck for 1 hour, waiting to be taken to the curb)

Chiantra's self-serve buffet highlights

2007-04-21T14:04:00.000-07:00

Oakley sunglasses
Chocolate-covered almond (2kg bag)
Fuzzy peaches candies (full box)
Fudgeo cookies (full bag)
Crispy Creme Donuts (1 dozen plus most of the cardboard box)
Digital camera memory card
Loaves of bread (1 weekly)
Tupperware containers (1-2 per week)
Granola bars, gum, and lipgloss (whatever is in mom's purse when she forgets to close the closet)
Pork chops (2 raw)
Cookie (raw off the pan waiting to go into the oven)
Lancome lip gloss (mango flavor)
Every pocket on every jacket mom owns (looking for left over dog treats from walks)
Whipping cream (out of the bowl on the counter while mom answered the door)...

Baby baby

2007-04-20T21:20:00.000-07:00

Two airedales, one cat...hmmm dear husband we are outnumbered. The golden rule has been broken, no more pets than people, you know what that means. Yup, knock me up to even the score. Wow, that was a long pregnancy, the first eight weeks on crutches with a torn achille's tendon. How fat do you think I can get?? Here she is...huh?? Did you say SHE? Wow we were expecting a boy...hmmm Mason could work as a girls name too, lets add a "y" to make it more feminine. That's what happened, and that's how our family grew to 6. Oldest, dad, then mom, then feline sister (Portia), canine brother (Kusa), canine sister (Chiantra), and human sister (Mayson). Cozy, fun, and mostly crazy.